Norm of the North lacks all sense of direction

The new animated film Norm of the North is the polar opposite of good storytelling in children’s movies.

Norm (voiced by Rob Schneider), an oversized ursus maritimus, is set to take over his father’s Arctic kingdom. Trouble is, tourists are infesting his pristine realm. And Mr. Greene (Ken Jeong), a smarmy, ponytailed New York City real estate developer, sends a team into Norm’s backyard to scout locations for a condominium complex. One of two polar bears who can speak human (the other is his missing grandfather), Norm travels to the Big Apple to save his home.

Before construction can begin, Greene must win approval from a governing council and his investors, who set their policies by public opinion. Greene works through his agent, Vera Brightly (Heather Graham), to create a marketing campaign that will sway the masses. Costumed actors audition for the role of a happy, dancing spokesbear. For his authenticity—he even smells like a real polar bear—Norm wins. But once out in public, Norm plans to double-cross Greene and plead with humans not to build up the far north or displace his fellow Arctic creatures.

Norm of the North seems to follow a standard Hollywood trajectory. Olympia, Vera’s ecologically and technologically savvy preteen daughter (because only kids with smartphones have what it takes to save the planet), lectures her mom about her job.

“You’re changing the Arctic,” Olympia huffs.

But then the film either tosses one in the dirt or throws moviegoers a well-pitched curveball when Olympia adds, “Change isn’t always good.”

The striking statement will catch many viewers off guard. But is it Hollywood heresy or sloppy scriptwriting?

So, Norm of the North (rated PG for mild rude humor and action) is either naughtily subversive or badly disoriented. Repetitive toilet gags, multiple time-filling song-and-dance routines, and a largely muddled plotline suggest the quirky bits are no more than happy accidents.

The film’s writers also seem unaware of the potential for fun, passing up what would be crowd-pleasing spoofs. For example, Norm’s appearance on an Oprah-like talk show plays out with no cheap shots or inside jokes. And just about every calculated attempt at humor falls flat.

“You should see my place,” Norm says when he visits Vera’s apartment. “No furniture, but year-round air conditioning.”