Independence, accountability, and teen chaperone rules

KELSEY REED: Hello, welcome to Concurrently: The News Coach Podcast from WORLD Radio and God’s WORLD News. Our mission is to come alongside you, learning and laboring with you as you disciple kids and teens through culture and current events. I’m Kelsey Reed. I’m here with Jonathan Boes.

JONATHAN BOES: Hello!

KELSEY: Together, we want to model conversation and apply tools you can use at home or in the classroom. We would love for you to send in your questions for us to address in future episodes. Please send your questions to newscoach@wng.org.

JONATHAN: So today on the podcast, once again, we’re going to be using our tools to engage with one specific news article. And the article we’re looking at today is talking about an increase in disruptions caused by teenagers in places like malls, amusement parks, restaurants, and what businesses are doing to combat that. And I think this is a really good example of an article to break down with our tools, because we often talk about broader themes or subjects in the news—stuff that’s being covered by multiple different outlets and articles. But this is a specific article, a specific instance that touches on a lot of different themes. And so I’m really excited to dive into this with our tools and see where our observations and our analysis takes us.

KELSEY: We had a lot of fun doing this the first time, when we applied SOAR to an article that was really concentrating on one aspect of the environment. Today, we’re repeating that, partly because we had a lot of fun, but because we think it is a great way for connecting with many different types of learners. We will change things up a little bit on the podcast for the same reason, so that we are connecting to so many different types of learners. It is wonderful to learn together by use of this tool, and to draw out the diversity of observations that we make, because of the fact that we are unique learners. So we hope you will enjoy this with us today. And maybe even use this episode while you talk. Pause, think through the questions with one another, or listen to it first and then go through the questions on your own.

JONATHAN: And so once again, we will link our source article—the article we are interacting with. We’ll put that in the show notes so that, if you want to, you can follow along with us with your kids and students, apply the same tools we’re applying, and see what you find in this article.

KELSEY: You guys may be familiar at this point, we like to start out with the big picture, which relates to SOAR. So we are SOARing, surveying first with our S, Survey. What’s the title? Let’s just start off with the title, and who even wrote this? Because I think that’s a good big picture.

JONATHAN: Yes. We are looking at an article from the Associated Press. This article is called “More businesses require teens to be chaperoned by adults, curbing their independence.” And it’s written by Anne D’Innocenzio, a retail writer for The Associated Press.

KELSEY: So there’s our big picture. And we kind of did the what and the who with that. But we’re going to move into more of those questions that I love to pull out of journalism for our observation work—or O—which is the who, what, when, where, why and even kind of the how of something. So what are we looking at here in some of the smaller detail and even how the story is being told?

JONATHAN: The overall what is that a growing number of shopping centers, amusement parks, restaurants, places like that, have implemented policies requiring teenagers to be chaperoned by an adult. Listener, you might hear some paper shuffling, because when we do this, we like to actually print the article, interact with it physically, make notes, mark it up with our pens and pencils or highlighters. And so if you hear some of that paper rustling, that is why. We’re flipping through an actual physical article in our hands here.

KELSEY: I think that’s why I have so much fun, is because I get to use color and mark things up.

JONATHAN: And so the nitty gritty details of some of these policies we are seeing: For example, a movie theater, Capitol 8 theater locations in several states are requiring teens under 17 to be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian after 6pm. There was another example of a mall in Paramus, New Jersey, requiring anyone under 18 years old to be accompanied by a chaperone at least 21 years or older on Fridays and Saturdays after 5pm. I think that’s enough to get a sense of what these rules are like—basically, teenagers under 18 or 17 generally, at specific times especially, being required to have a chaperone.

KELSEY: So there’s some of the what. In terms of some of the why, I think that’s a great place to go to next. Why are we seeing these things? And I’m going to make a stab at answering this myself. I am noticing that they mentioned disruption, unruly behavior. Some quotes mentioned things like, after a certain time of the day, it was a madhouse in one of the malls that she attended—bad behavior just in general. But it was interesting—I saw that one specific link said it was inspired by social media and TikTok, so there is bad behavior shaped by social media usage, although that is not spelled out clearly in the article, that connection. So I just want to also observe that.

JONATHAN: That’s a good observation, because they mentioned it, but they don’t really go super deep into that. They just mention that. So it seems to be connected to TikTok, maybe teens following TikTok trends. And I also noticed you mentioned the disruptions—disruptive behavior. There were also some instances cited of fights breaking out among teenagers.

KELSEY: So there’s some more of the why. We mentioned some of the where actually as well. You talked about the mall in New Jersey. It’s, I think, the second largest mall in the state, is what I’m noticing. But also Mall of America, which is the second—no, excuse me. Mall of America is the nation’s largest shopping mall. So this is part of why we do our observation work. It really helps us to ground our thoughts in careful scrutiny of the details. So the largest shopping mall, it even imposed a chaperone policy as far back as 1996, which is when I was a senior in high school. So I’m observing that, that they’ve even increasingly been tightening it. But the point is the where. Mall of America. We also even notice Chick-fil-A, one of the Chick-fil-A’s in Pennsylvania. So that’s another where of this specific problem.

JONATHAN: Yeah. And I think I mentioned earlier, movie theaters with locations in Missouri and Illinois. So they do a pretty good job pulling examples from a lot of different states to draw out that this is a fairly widespread trend over a lot of places in—I guess we’re focused on America here—in the United States.

KELSEY: So we’re making the observation of not only the specific wheres, but the fact that it is a nationwide where. This is a cultural trend we’re noticing in our nation. All right, so we’ve done the where, we’ve done the what, maybe we could dip in a little bit to the who of this even.

JONATHAN: I think there are a few different whos identified. When I say it that way, it sounds little Dr. Seussy. We’re talking about teenagers, obviously. They actually interview some teenagers in this article. We’re talking about business owners as well. I think the two primary voices in this article are the teenagers and their parents, and then the business owners who are being affected by these disruptions.

KELSEY: So when we name a who, there’s this great term I like to use that helps me think about what we’re looking at. These are stakeholders in this story. It means they’ve got a stake and they’ve got skin in the game. These are stakeholders. So, the people with skin in the game: Teenagers, their parents, maybe any other chaperone that would be subbing in for their parents, business owners. So interesting. As soon as I start thinking of the stakeholders, I’m tempted to move towards analysis, because I’m starting to think of—when you have skin in the game, you have emotion invested in the game. So I’m going to be careful to hold off and not start interpreting the level of motivation towards these things, or what could be hurtful, or any of that. I’m going to wait until we’re in analysis realm.

So let’s see. We’ve done who, what, maybe a little bit of when because we talked about how things have been trending in this area, even since the 90s. We’ve talked about the where. We haven’t so much talked about the how, although we’ve hinted towards it, but let’s be explicit on how these things are playing out. What all have you noticed in the how they’re trying to implement some solutions to this problem that’s been named?

JONATHAN: So the how—I guess it’s a little bit connected to the what with the specific roles they’ve implemented, with different ages, different times. They also talk about actually having security guards checking people’s IDs at the door. If somebody looks like they are under that age limit, they’ll actually say, “Hey, show me your ID.” And if they’re under 18 or whatever the rule says, they get kicked out of the mall.

KELSEY: That is exactly where I wanted to transition from here, was that presence of the security guards. So we’re seeing some of the how of checking IDs, of increased presence of security guards even. One of the things mentioned, I’m observing, is a cluster of policemen at the gates to the Garden State Plaza, which is one of the main wheres.

As we talk about this how, we’re starting actually to get close to that pivot into the analysis. I love pivoting right here, because the how we’re observing begins to start revealing the problem. And when we’re in analysis, we’re usually talking about, what do we say is good? What do we say is the problem? What do we say is the solution? Or what do we hear the article saying is good? Maybe even what is true?

So observing one further thing, that there is a part in the article where it says, not only are they checking these IDs, there’s a cluster of policemen outside the gates of this Garden State Plaza, this location that we’ve been engaging from the beginning of this article.

So this begins to reveal some of what they’re suggesting is the solution to the problem. But before we even jump into solution, I want to make some observations or ask some questions. As we analyze, what do they suggest is the problem?

JONATHAN: You know, last time we did this, we were talking about that light pollution article, where we had an author clearly arguing for a specific point. This is more of an Associated Press news article, where the author—you know, there are some assumptions we can get into later—but the author is not necessarily arguing for a specific point. She’s more so shining a light on what different stakeholders in this story define as the problem. So you actually see several different problems articulated in this article, that might almost seem opposed.

KELSEY: And so as we actually go right into analysis now, I would say that, as a news article, it holds up to our scrutiny for what is good journalism. It’s seeking to tell the story from all of those different places, to tell the different solutions that are being proposed by the different stakeholders, instead of it being an opinion article or commentary which supplies “this is the solution that must be pursued.”

JONATHAN: And so to go back to observation real quick, back to observing the problems in the story—at least what I observe, and I’d love to see if you saw anything else in this. But I observed two overall problems articulated here from different stakeholders. The first problem we see is that businesses are seeing increased disruption, and that it is actually even in some cases affecting their revenue. The second problem, which we haven’t touched on as much yet, is that teens are losing spaces where they can be independent in the real world, and that this might be driving them further into virtual, digital spaces, contributing to a lack of social development.

KELSEY: This is a great moment to actually stand outside of our process, to be able to help further your own process at home. When we are working, and we’re in this kind of messy portion between observation and analysis, let me just go ahead and affirm something very clearly. We base all of our analytical work on the things that we observe, in the articles that we read. We want to make sure to analyze based on what is or isn’t there. We do compare and contrast work to other stories that we might have seen, or even to our own experience. So as we metaprocess where we are in this transition, when we are careful to do our analytical work based on our observations, then we are not merely reacting or running away with some kind of response that’s actually in our own head instead of in the data that we are viewing.

JONATHAN: It forces us to put some thought into our assumptions and not just run into a quick response.

KELSEY: We are going to be back and forth a little bit, having one foot in observation, one foot in analysis, to be able to do this careful work.

You are mentioning these problems that are suggested, and I really want for us to lean into that place of the experience of the teenager. I think that’s a great place to start, particularly since we are wanting to equip parents of teens in particular. So this is such an important thing for us to think about in terms of our discipleship response.

So asking analytical questions—we are observing that this is impactful in a very serious way to teen culture, to teen development, to their opportunity to grow, mature, to express a certain amount of independence, but still in a somewhat shepherded space or environment. So asking this question, let’s just do some compare and contrast even with our own experiences of public spaces or teen culture in our two different generations. Because Jonathan and I are in different generations, for sure.

JONATHAN: From my personal experience, it was an important part of my teenage years to have places where my friends and I could exist out in the real world. We had the internet. We had video games. We did our fair share of that. But we would also go to the mall every now and then, go to restaurants. We lived in a place where we could walk to some of those sorts of things. And so those were good experiences in my life at least, to practice being a social being in a greater community context with my friends. Of course, I wouldn’t have thought about it in those terms back then. But at least what I experienced then is that you’re faced with moral choices in that context where you’re not with your parents. You’re just with your peers. You’re out in the community. When your friends suggest, “Hey, let’s go do this thing, let’s go to this store, let’s pull this prank,” you have to make your own moral determination as to whether that is a good action or a disruptive action.

KELSEY: So what I’m hearing in your story, as we make a comparison to the problem that is named, is that we agree that it is good for teens to have a place to be able to begin expressing themselves and learning how to make moral decisions, learning how to be a citizen, within a greater context.

In my own life, some of it’s a little bit messier. I was in Dublin 30 years ago, when I was 15. And we didn’t have malls in the same way in Dublin, not that are open late like they are in the States, or at least not at that point. 30 years ago, malls would close, or they were really far out. So in order to get there, you either had to take public transportation, which was a responsibility thing in and of itself—you are having to learn how to comport yourself well on a bus from an early age as school kids. So to get to spaces, it was already a bit of a commitment, and one where you had to have your head on straight. You had to have grown in terms of your expression of responsibility. One of the places we could get to was actually all the way downtown, to a walking street called Grafton Street. And the places you could actually get into, you had to have an ID in order to get into, because they were serving alcohol.

JONATHAN: Well yeah, it’s Ireland.

KELSEY: Right? Exactly. Typical. But there were places that were more that formalized kind of club venue, and so to enter you had to show your ID, your student ID I think is usually what it was there, because we didn’t have drivers at 16 in those areas.

But the point I’m making for connection with American culture is that often you weren’t allowed into places that required a higher amount of responsibility, unless you showed that you were of a certain age. And there was this other thing about buy-in. Like, if you are going to a coffee shop, for example, which is another place that I could have hung out as a teen, you’re having to make a purchase in order to be there. There’s something different about the mall. I notice that a mall is a place that is relatively low on its accountability structure. You can kind of hang out in the “public” spaces with fewer rules that you have to abide by, without having to make a purchase. So I think, through viewing this article through the lens of our experience, I can see the problem from the position of the stakeholder, the business owner.

JONATHAN: Yeah, and I want to go back to ground our analysis in an observation. I want to look at one of the methods this article used. So we talked about how this article was pulling from original reporting, drawing on stories, testimony from business owners, parents. Another thing this article uses is statistics. It pulls out some actual crime statistics and notes that, overall, with the exception of some urban areas, crime among youth has been declining and fell to a new low in 2020, according to what they call the latest federal data. And it seems like this fact has been opposed to the idea of increased disruptions being caused by teenagers.

But what I’m wondering here is—I’m wondering how closely those statistics apply. Because in my experience, a lot of the disruptions caused by teenagers in these spaces aren’t necessarily something that’s going to show up in crime statistics. For example, our mall here in Asheville actually has a similar policy to what we’re talking about. And I witnessed this policy in action the last time I was there. If you’ve been to one of those malls where they have those, like—you put a quarter in the ride, and maybe there’s this metal car or something that rocks back and forth for toddlers or whatever. There was a group of teenagers sitting on there rocking back and forth. They weren’t breaking a law, but they were being disruptive, especially if you’re a parent who, you know, you want your child to go on that ride. And the security guard actually came and enforced that chaperone policy and had them leave the mall. That’s an example where, you know—I’m sure things like that happen all the time. And that’s not going to show up on a crime statistic.

KELSEY: So differentiation between unruly behavior and what is in this statistic of violent crime, which specifically—I just want to repeat this observation—is that violent crime arrests among youth have actually [fallen]. And the reason why I stuck there is because it also was an observation I made towards a certain analysis, or an analytical question that isn’t answered in this article, but that I would like to know more about. And that question is: Okay, so if arrests are falling, is that because behavior has changed to be able to kind of skirt around those things that would otherwise be illegal? Or is it maybe even because of shifting things in our policing, and how accountability is being expressed? So my questions, they’re not answered in this article, but I’m wondering: What is it about culture as a whole that might be shifting, as we see this particular statistic reflected?

JONATHAN: I think you used the term “accountability” earlier, when you were talking about that mall space. And that brings me to what we’ve seen in some other news articles. I don’t have them in front of me, but just it’s something you see pop up now and again, of just the increase in shoplifting, the increase in people pulling disruptive social media stunts, because in our culture of lawsuits and all that, there’s not a lot shopkeepers can do to stop disruptive behavior without creating a big liability for their business. So I wonder if that even plays into this as well? Was there a level of accountability there in the past that isn’t even there today? Even if teens are in these spaces where they’re getting this chance to make moral determinations for themselves—it’s important to be able to make those moral determinations, but part of that is that you’ll face the consequences of making the wrong choice. And have we come into a culture where teens can make the wrong moral choice in a community situation, they can act disruptively in the mall or the movie theater, but they no longer face any negative consequence for that? Have we even lost the ability to learn from that independence?

KELSEY: That is a great analytical question. As you even asked it, it helped me to identify a couple other stakeholders in this. They’re kind of waiting in the wings of this article. One of them is explicitly spoken—you know, the police or the security guards are also stakeholders in this process. And then, whereas they may not be mentioned explicitly, until the end: frustrated guests, actually. So the very, very last paragraph, frustrated guests—you know, guests that may not have children—also have skin in the game here. So there are more stakeholders involved. And this helps to drive our analysis a little further.

JONATHAN: I would say even guests with children. One of the mall owners they interviewed talked about how, once they started enforcing these new policies, the mall became a family environment again, where I’m assuming parents could come and bring their younger children and not feel like there was disruptive stuff going on.

KELSEY: That really helps me to, again, expand my understanding, to name all of these different folks who are impacted in this process. And the problems for each of them are real. The problem for the teenager who was not being unruly, there’s this consequence being felt by them in an increased accountability, even just at entry of the mall. There is an increased pressure on security guards to do that preliminary policing, as it were. There is an increased pressure on parents to be a part of this accountability structure, and to do so more intentionally maybe than they have. And while some of them may not even need to do so, because they have children they have invested in to such a degree that they will comport themselves well, all of these questions and all these identifications of the problems felt or the pressures felt, they helped me to actually turn to response. So we are in that place where it’s appropriate for us to begin to think of a response that qualifies itself by taking into account each of these different groups of people.

JONATHAN: Before we pivot to response, there is one assumption in this article that we’ve touched on a little bit. I talked before about how the article is mostly articulating the points of the stakeholders. But there’s one assumption that I think even the author holds, and I wanted to just pull this out into the open to see if it’s something we feel like we can affirm, which is the idea that teenagers need a space where they can be away from their parents. What do we think about that—the idea that that is an inherent good, that teenagers have a place where they are unsupervised?

KELSEY: That’s very good, I think, to camp out in for a minute. As a mom of two teenage girls who are 18 and 16, I know them really well. If I’m just answering for them specifically, I would say yes. They are at a place in their responsibility, in their growth, in their maturity, that is important for them to have the opportunity to operate independently of their dad and me. Would I answer the same thing for every single teenager? I’m not sure. But I would say that, when a young person gets to a certain place in their maturity, I think it is absolutely an important part of their continued development to be able to have these forays out into expressing themselves in the world, learning what it means to take responsibility for themselves. In these short ventures—I sometimes call them fledging ventures—out into the world, they also come home and reflect on those experiences, because they’re still living at home. So that would be something I would say related to, very much qualified by, this idea of the mature child who is no longer really a child anymore.

JONATHAN: And I can feel us pulling toward response, because we’re beginning to get into the questions of our responsibility as parents. How much of that falls on us? Where does that responsibility fall on business owners and just knowing our individual children in front of us?

KELSEY: And parent, I’m going to be always qualifying what maturity looks like, and what our parental response looks like through a biblical frame. And the reason for that is because biblical maturity looks like a care for neighbor, and acknowledgement that my behavior has consequences, that my words even have an impact on those around me. And I’m rearing children to believe the same, but not every child is going to be raised in a Christian home with a Christian worldview. So then we start having to tackle that next level of responsibility or response as the believer, which is: Adult, how do we engage with the teenagers that we see around us, even if they are not our own?

We kind of touched on this a little bit in “School shooters and safe spaces.” And this is very much revealing of my own philosophy of ministry, when I communicate this, and that I believe the adult believer, who is mature in their understanding of what it means to be a neighbor, looks to the outcast, looks to seek to draw someone in and to provide a place where there is oversight, where there is a mentality for the good of all of those who are present in that place. So that is not so much “chaperoning” in terms of the word to this article, so much as a healthy accountability and shepherding.

JONATHAN: And so one thing we didn’t really have time to dig super deep into in our analysis, but maybe we could even encourage you, listener, to analyze for yourself, is this idea of: If teens do not have these real life spaces to go into, will they retreat further into digital, virtual spaces? And is that worse for their social development?

I think, drawing on some of our previous episodes, we would affirm that it’s good for teenagers—or for any kid, for any adult—to have restorative practices in places outside of the digital realm, to have time with those tangible, physical things, to have time with nature, to have face-to-face time with other people. And so off of what you said, Kelsey, as part of our response: If business owners are making this decision for personal liability reasons, that teenagers just can’t be there without a chaperone, and if parents—like at least one parent mentioned in this article—are struggling to find those chaperones, can we create spaces for teenagers to be teenagers?

KELSEY: And can we identify spaces for them to be teenagers? Sometimes we might need to be in the mix. Sometimes we may just need to be shepherding their own perspectives. Where is a place that is good, that they can do good?

This article talks a lot about the economic impact of not having teens going and spending money in the mall or, alternatively, now having increased adult presence in the mall to provide chaperones. So there’s an economic element that is in this mix that honestly, though it’s important, is not going to be primary in my mentality. As we look to discipleship responses, I’m going to be concerned with the whole person, and what it means for us as adults to be concerned with the whole person.

We have the beautiful benefit of living in western North Carolina. There are many places we can point to that are healthy places for our children to go and to be. And they still need to have rules in those areas. What does it mean to hike responsibly? They need to know not only how to care for the places they’re going, but also for themselves in those spaces—to not be dehydrated, for instance. So parental oversight—as we point to these healthy practices, that definitely needs to be a part of our response.

JONATHAN: And that brings me to the response of equipping or arming our kids. I don’t have teenagers yet. But I’m thinking ahead to this, even with my daughter who is going to be going into third grade, thinking about how I equip her to go out and be apart from me and her mom at school. How do we equip and arm our kids to be good neighbors, good citizens, in social contexts where they are apart from us, or maybe even apart from a grownup chaperone?

KELSEY: I think it’s good to identify, even as we think about our response, some of the obstacles towards this being natural in our response. We recently did that episode where we reflected on the things that fell into decay through COVID. Some of what we need to do is a restoring, going back into public spaces with our little kids. That means going to the public pool or the playground and engaging, letting them run back to us when they’ve had an altercation on the playground or some other thing that needs our coaching. These things unfortunately fell into less practice, at the very least, if not just off of our practices at all, because playgrounds were closed for a long time. During the time when our children—I know our youngest kids would have been on the playground on a daily basis. They were preschoolers. So the awareness of the obstacles that even come from our proximate place in history, which—just as a side note, that kind of corresponds with our analysis tool, the Big Five, where we apply Aristotle’s Five Common Topics. What is the relationship to other things in the course of history that have brought us to this place, this cultural moment?

JONATHAN: And they call that out specifically in the article, that the pandemic has led to a slowdown in social development for some teenagers, which they suggested might be contributing to these increased disruptions. And one other response portion, which—you know, we like to stay on the positive side of response, but I’m thinking again about the lack have consequences for disruption, and that we no longer live in a culture where the business owner is necessarily going to have the power to create a consequence for that disruptive behavior without facing some kind of legal liability for themselves. And so I think, increasingly, that probably falls on the parent, to have an environment in your home where your kids know if they go out and act sinfully and disruptively, and harm their neighbors in some way—even if they don’t face a consequence for that from the owner of that business, from the person running that movie theater—they’re going to face some kind of consequence for that in the home, as part of their moral instruction.

KELSEY: So there are a myriad of things that need to be considered with every single cultural engagement we have. We’re not going to touch on all of those in today’s episode, but we hope we’ve touched a few of them and are inspiring those conversations at home, and even those mature responses.

More things that shape our response, of course—always a return to scripture. I’m looking right now at Proverbs 8. And this is spoken from father to sons. It’s just one of those ways we are shaping a response, maybe in our children, to think of Proverbs 8:32: ““And now, O sons, listen to me: blessed are those who keep my ways”—and this is actually wisdom speaking— “blessed are those who keep my ways. Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death.”

These are just some of the verses that help us to remember that our duty as parents is to instruct with wisdom and even to engage the rest of the world with wisdom, and to train up our children that they might engage the world with wisdom, that we might be culture shapers.

So parent, teacher, mentor of kids and teens, and you students who are listening in, we want to remind you: He has equipped you for this work.

Show Notes

Malls, theme parks, and restaurants increasingly require teenage patrons to have adult chaperones. Why are businesses making this change? And what does it mean for teenage independence?

Check out The Concurrently Companion for this week's downloadable episode guide including discussion questions and scripture for further study

We would love to hear from you. You can send us a message at newscoach@wng.org. What current events or cultural issues are you wrestling through with your kids and teens? Let us know. We want to work through it with you.

See more from the News Coach, including episode transcripts.

Further Resources:

• Follow along with our source article, “More businesses require teens to be chaperoned by adults, curbing their independence” by Anne D’Innocenzio at the Associated Press.
• Learn more about the SOAR method on the News Coach blog.
• For my thoughts on non-digital restorative practices, listen to our previous episode, “COVID-19, summer break, and restorative practices.”

Kelsey’s 2023 Convention Schedule:

Phoenix, AZ | 7/13 - 7/15 | Arizona Families for Home Education

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This episode is sponsored by Unbound.

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