Stupid church tricks

Four sets of parents are suing a church in Indiana for what happened at a New Year's Eve lock-in. A youth leader chewed up a mixture of dog food, sardines, potted meat, sauerkraut, cottage cheese, and salsa, topped off with holiday eggnog. As if this spectacle were not disgusting enough (let the reader beware), he then spit out the mixture into a glass and encouraged the members of the youth group to drink it!

Some of those who did, of course, became sick, whereupon their parents sued the church. According to an Associated Press account, the youth pastor said that the "gross-out" game, called the Human Vegematic, was just for fun and that the church forced no one to participate. The lawsuit accused the adults in charge of pressuring 13- and 14-year-olds into activities that caused them physical and mental harm.

Such "gross-out" games have become a fad in youth ministry. Since adolescents are amused by bodily functions, crude behavior, and tastelessness-following the church-growth principle of giving people what they like as a way to entice them into the kingdom-many evangelical youth leaders think this is a way to reach young people.

The Source for Youth Ministry, a popular and widely used resource center, posts scores of games on its website, many of which were contributed by youth group leaders in the field.

There is Sanctuary Softball, which involves whacking a nerf ball in church, with home plate being the area of the altar, and running through the pews, as the fielders then try to hit the batter with the ball to make an out. Another fun activity is Seafood Catch, which involves putting minnows in the baptistry, then catching them by hand. ("Extra points for eating them after it is done.")

Then there are games designed to appeal to adolescents' hormones. These include kissing games like "Kiss the Wench." "Leg Line Up" has girls feel boy's legs to identify who is who. Some of them have odd homosexual subtexts, like "Pull Apart," in which guys cling to each other, while girls try to pull them apart. Another has girls putting makeup on guys, leading to a drag beauty show. Then there is the embarrassingly Freudian "Baby Bottle Burp," in which girls put a diaper (a towel) on a boy, then feed him a bottle of soda, and cradle him until he burps!

These are presented as just ordinary games, good ways to break the ice at youth group. But there is another category of "Sick and Twisted Games." Many of these involve eating and drinking gross things, like at the Indiana church. ("Toothbrush Buffet" has youth group leaders brushing their teeth and spitting into a cup. Each then passes it along to the next in line, who uses what is in the cup to brush his teeth. The last one drinks down everyone's spit.) Others are scatological, and are too repellent to describe.

What do teenagers learn from these youth group activities? Nothing of the Bible. Nothing of theology. Nothing of the cost of discipleship. But they do learn some lessons that they can carry with them the rest of their lives:

Teenagers get enough entertainment, psychology, and hedonism from their culture. They don't need it from their church. What they need-and often yearn for-is God's Word, catechesis, and spiritual formation.