Homestead

Rated PG-13 • Theaters

Zombie movies can be entertaining depictions of society gone to pieces (World War Z is my favorite) but perhaps not very useful for preparing you for the actual end of the world—probably only a presidential election or two away.

While Angel Studios’ new zombie-free Homestead won’t glue you to the edge of your seat, it happens to present a practical guide to apocalypse survival. The film touches on matters the flesh-muncher flicks never address. Do you forgive a chimney specialist who refused to help build your secluded fortress? How do you handle your security chief’s stepson crushing on your teen daughter who had a heart transplant six years earlier? Homestead answers these important questions, and more.

The visually rich film (language, violence, and sensuality all brief) opens as a nuclear bomb incinerates Los Angeles. Ian (Neal McDonough) and his family retreat to their Versailles-like compound in the Rockies, where they homeschool and grow their own food. Ian hires Jeff (Bailey Chase) and his squad of burly ex-soldiers for security, but a power struggle between them emerges because Ian’s a tough guy, too. (Spoiler alert: When a bullet drops Ian to the ground, his cowboy hat does not fall off.) Ian also argues with his wife about helping the hungry locals camped outside their gates. He calculates his storehouse of grains will last only 32 weeks. She tells him, “My God is bigger than math,” and prays for guidance. Whose outlook better suits a grim future?

The best survival tip comes when a family fleeing LA in a Tesla gets stranded among unruly grocery hoarders after the car’s battery runs out. The family escapes by stealing an old Honda Odyssey.