Flawed diamond

Of course you can’t call a two-hour timeout on the Eighth Commandment, but heist flicks are supposed to be fun. Not so Ocean’s 8. Like the 6-pound diamond necklace at the center of the crime, this third follow-up to the 2001 hit Ocean’s Eleven (Twelve, Thirteen, and now 8) dazzles the eye but has no life in it.

Debbie Ocean (Sandra Bullock) makes parole after spending years behind bars, where she passed the time planning a theft that would make her wildly rich. More importantly to her, though, the scheme is designed for her onetime boyfriend, whose betrayal landed her in jail, to take the fall.

Debbie enlists six women, including Rose (Helena Bonham Carter), a famous but broke fashion designer; a dope-smoking computer hacker; and a pickpocket. Rounding out the octet is movie star Daphne (Anne Hathaway), an unwitting accomplice who will be wearing the necklace at a gala.

Ocean’s 8 (rated PG-13 for foul language, drug use, and some suggestive content) follows standard caper movie format: recruitment of partners, casing the event, then theft and getaway. The problem is that none of these acts is overlaid with tension and twists. It’s all too mechanical. Director Gary Ross spoon-feeds each plot development to viewers, who, unburdened of having to figure anything out, are left with little to do but ogle the glamorous sets and hypercool outfits.

Hathaway does a fine campy diva routine but isn’t the film’s focus. And while Rose’s own attire looks like the result of a New Year’s Day parade-route pileup, she doesn’t really get to be quirky. Carter fans know that’s a missed opportunity. What could have been a juicy finale—the ex-boyfriend’s downfall—is crammed in as an afterthought.

Nevertheless, if I’ve done the math right, Ocean’s 9 and 10 will come as surely as the tide.