An unimpressive ‘Kong’

Big-ape flicks apparently don’t evolve, as Kong: Skull Island proves. For better or worse, a menagerie of King Kong films exists against which to compare this latest remake, and the conclusion is a no-brainer: Skull Island doesn’t measure up to size.

The story begins as the Vietnam War ends, a development that leaves battle-happy Lt. Col. Preston Packard (Samuel L. Jackson) feeling glum. So, Packard jumps at the opportunity to lead his unit on an expedition with a group of scientists to an uncharted island in the South Pacific. Two ostracized researchers (John Goodman and Corey Hawkins) hope to find evidence on Skull Island that will confirm their “Hollow Earth Theory” about the existence of large, subterranean animals.

As they helicopter onto the island, several soldiers and scientists meet early demises when they encounter the gigantic Kong. The survivors have three days to trek to the island’s north end for a prearranged exfiltration. In the meantime, the scientists come to recognize and appreciate Kong’s role in the island’s ecosystem—keeping the ferocious underground monsters in check. But Packard is bent on evening the score with Kong.

Bucking King Kong movie convention, the setting of Kong: Skull Island (rated PG-13 for sci-fi violence and brief strong language) doesn’t shift stateside. But the film does indulge the customary Hallmark moment where Kong palms the heroine (Brie Larson). In all, Skull Island doesn’t establish any particular tone: It stumbles between chilling and cheeky but achieves neither. The island’s colossal critters aren’t as numerous or fearsome as those in Peter Jackson’s superior 2005 King Kong, and the soldiers’ militaristic confabs fizzle as trite one-liners. By the third close-up of a scowling Packard, the film’s campiness has worn thin.

But if you, like Packard, are holding out for a tête-à-tête with Kong, stay through the entire end credits for a surprise epilogue.