Kicker: Permission for a pet

NICK EICHER, HOST: OK, there’s a six-year-old girl in L-A County—her name is Madeline—and she has a functioning imagination—as any six-year-old girl would—but also an uncommon practical sense.

So Madeline wants a unicorn for a pet.

But she was smart enough to know she better check with LA County Animal Care and Control. She wrote a letter saying I haven’t found a unicorn yet, but when I do, could you go ahead and give me a license for it?

And she got a reply. A red license tag and a set of instructions to keep her in compliance.

This is actually kind of cute.

First, the unicorn must have plenty of exposure to sunlight, moonlight and rainbows, a good horn polishing once a month. It’ll need watermelon at least once a week. And any sparkles or glitter used to decorate it have to be nontoxic and biodegradable.

REICHARD: Common knowledge.

EICHER: And she gets in trouble, you’ll represent her, you’ll be the lawyer, right?

REICHARD: It’s my specialty.

EICHER: It’s The World and Everything in It.

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