Yes and no

My wife and I have been thinking on Matthew 5:37 ("But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.'") and how we sometimes wish we'd grown up where that was more common. We grew up in the South, where seemingly innocuous words can hide sharp little barbs, and insults come disguised as compliments.

In the Midwest, where we live now, most people take what you say at face value. If someone says, "Oh, you got a new dress," it mostly means that they are indeed mildly interested in the fact that you have a new dress. But where we grew up, that seemingly innocent sentence could carry 10 or 12 different meanings, easy:

"Does this mean you won't be wearing the same dress to church that you've worn the last three Sundays in a row?"

"I see you've been spending money you don't have again."

"I hate you for making me look like a slob."

"You just can't pass up a chance to show everyone you make a lot of money, can you?"

"It's so nice to see you not looking like a barefoot hillbilly for once."

"It's a shame that there's a Motel 6 somewhere doing without curtains so's you can wrap that bolt of cloth around your big ole hips."

"You look like a tramp."

"So that's what you've been doing with the life insurance money."

It can make you crazy, trying to interpret the layers of meaning and possible meaning behind every sentence. You develop a knack for it, but then if you move to a place where people are more straightforward, you catch yourself engaging in conversational Kremlinology:

"Did they really mean that they want to get together with us sometime, or was that their way of saying that they're upset we didn't invite them to our last party?"

"Does he actually believe that my point of view is interesting, or is that his way of calling me a freak?"

This way of speaking is neither universal in nor limited to the South. It seems to spring up wherever people have made a virtue out of feeling more sophisticated than their fellows, and where talking down to someone is a way of elevating oneself. I can't stand it, but I realize that a big part of the reason I can't stand it is in fact my own pride. Why is it that I don't want to be subtly insulted after all, except for the fact that it wounds my pride? Why do I become so indignant about someone thinking he is better than me, except for the fact that it calls into question my own high estimation of myself?

Further, I'll bet letting our yes and no stand for themselves entails that we take what others say at face value as well, regardless of our suspicion that they may be treating us with disdain. It's when man imagines that he has some merit or possession beyond himself, after all---as the verse reminds us---that he begins to depart from the simple yes and no. In other words, understanding that there is nothing meritorious in ourselves that is of our own making will likely help us not only speak the simple yes or no, but also live as if everyone around us were doing so as well.

And that attitude, in turn, probably leads to greater peace than worrying over what people really mean, and---for this is always the root of it---what they really think of us. After all, there's nothing much to be thought of any of us, apart from Christ. And the fact that He loves us ought to make us content to put up with any amount of scorn from our fellow man, real or perceived.