Worshipping home births

A long-time friend, when she was expecting her second child back in 1978, read a book about home birthing. The author’s main theme was that prospective parents should strive, if at all possible, to deliver the baby themselves. They made the baby in private, so they should deliver the baby in private, deepening their bond as a family. My friend and her husband tried it, and the experience was terrifying.

“Man’s nature, so to speak, is a perpetual factory of idols,” wrote John Calvin in his Institutes (Part 1, Chapter 1, Section 8). What in the world does this quote have to do with home birth? Only that I was reminded of it, and my friend’s experience, while reading an internet post titled “My True Feelings Regarding My Home Birth Experience” (caution: graphic photos), where a young mother of five tells how a planned scenario went wrong and could have ended tragically without medical intervention. Desiring a “picture-perfect” event, she had employed two midwives, one doula (birth coach), and a professional photographer. What followed would have shaken any mom, but some of her language is especially telling: “I left my birth feeling broken down, beaten, cheated,” and, “It has changed who I am as a person,” and, “I am left with the added guilt of my own body causing [my son’s] horrific birth.”

This wasn’t just a bad experience; it sounds almost like a god who failed.

Though rare, the practice of home birth is growing: up to 1.36 percent of all U.S. deliveries in 2012. A quick Google search of “home birth” quickly yields around 110 million hits. Some of those links go to articles critical of the trend, but supportive websites are on the rise. Born in the Wild, a reality series scheduled to begin in March, even showcases mothers who are determined to have their babies in woods and streams. A catchphrase has emerged: “Trust birth.” Also, “Don’t let your babies do drugs.” And, “It’s your birth; have it your way.”

Only … it’s not your birth; it’s the baby’s birth, and crouching in a tub filled with warm water in your bedroom might not be the best way to bring him or her into the world. I know many moms who have delivered their babies happily at home. My problem is not at all with home birthing but with the mystical halo of sanctity that some women hang over it. I’ve read hectoring online articles from advocates who claim women who opt for hospital births are surrendering their bodies to the medical establishment. I have seen Facebook posts from friends looking for reassurance that they didn’t “fail” by deciding against a do-it-yourself delivery. Above all, I sense an attitude that home birth is the supreme experience every mother should strive for.

Idol factories are fired up and working overtime; altars are adorned with people or things or (perhaps especially for women) “experience.” The devotion of some home-birth mavens gives them away: They don’t “trust birth,” they worship it. And like all idolmakers, they’re really worshipping themselves.