When age wins

The best story endings leave us wanting more. The worst ones can leave us sad and sometimes bitter. Unfortunately, it’s the latter we’re seeing from Peyton Manning and Kobe Bryant this season. Both players have had storied careers, among the best ever in their respective sports. They’re both champions and icons, but now are grimly crawling across the finish line of their careers dragging broken bodies that can no longer do what they once could do.

Age is the opponent no athlete can defeat. It almost seemed to ambush Manning and Bryant, taking them from star to has-been in almost no time. But there were signs. Their health began to decline. Throws and shots they used to make easily fell short more regularly. They simply couldn’t will themselves to make the same plays they once did, though they could still come through on occasion.

When a star fades, it happens in one of three ways. The first is the Barry Sanders path: The star sees the end coming and retires before it hits him, going out on top. The second is the Kevin Garnett and Tim Duncan path: The star recognizes age’s effect on him and willingly makes the adjustment to role player to support his team. The third is the Manning and Kobe path: The star refuses to acknowledge age or decline and gives everything he has until he has nothing left to give, which can end up taking away from the team. While the third path allows a star to eek out extra time on the playing field, the first two are better for the health of a team and allow a player to retire with dignity.

Gauging the right time to bow out of the spotlight is a challenge. It requires three traits that are not common in most people.

First, a person must be self-aware. For a superstar in any field, or a leader of any kind, this usually is killed off by hyper-competitiveness or hyper-perfectionism. Instead of knowing one’s role and contribution, his focus is solely on being the star, on being the best.

Second, being self-aware also means knowing what you do impacts others. In other words, a person must be others-focused. If a person views himself as the star, he usually sees others as needing him rather than having a real sense of his influence on their success or failure.

If a person can be both self-aware and others-focused, he will find the third characteristic: realistic expectations. If the only standard someone has is to be the best, “realistic” doesn’t matter. But if he is examining what is best for everyone, he will set expectations that demand change when the time comes.

These three traits are marks of humility and care for others. Transitioning out of influence is hard, but there is a good way to do it, one that cares for the good of all not just the ego of one.