Trifling with obedience
Today I decided there is good weakness and bad weakness. Here is an example of good and legitimate weakness:
"I suffered distress and anguish. Then I called on the name of the LORD: O LORD, I pray, deliver my soul!" (Psalm 116:4)
I have felt like this and spoken like this to the Lord numerous times, and I am not ashamed of it.
I will tell you what I am ashamed of.
This morning I came across a diary by happenstance and read a few pages. On those pages I was repenting of a sin-a sin of attitude. Without going into embarrassing detail, let me say it boiled down to covetousness, and a refusal to put the Word of God above my own theories about what I need in my life to be happy. The diary entry waxed on and on about my new epiphany.
What was shameful is that as I read my own words today, I realized that I had still not put this attitude to death. I had scolded it a little. And sometimes it had fallen dormant for a season. Mostly I had just fondled it. Elijah would have frowned and rebuked me for "limping between two different opinions" (1 Kings 18:21).
And do you know what I discovered behind my failure to get serious with this sin? It's that I have given myself permission to be weak. That has been my standard. I have sung myself the song of "I'm just a weak sinner, white-knuckling it through this life. The Lord understands."
Having a soul laid low and desperate for Jesus is a good thing. Trifling with obedience under the excuse of weakness is not. There is power in the blood, and that is powerful motivation.
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