The war that shaped her life

Grace Snell isn’t old enough to remember 9/11, but it is one of the most formative events of her early life. Her dad served as an officer in the U.S. Army for 22 years and deployed four times during her childhood as part of the War on Terror—twice to Iraq and twice to Afghanistan. When we started talking about our 9/11 anniversary coverage, Grace seemed like the perfect person to write the cover story, “A time to remember,” in this issue. What started as an assignment to explore the ways 9/11 has changed our national psyche turned into a deep dive into one woman’s very personal grief and her mission to ensure America never forgets what really happened on that terrible September day.

You were just 3 years old when your dad first deployed in 2004. How did he explain it to you and your sister before he left? My dad really agonized over the best way to explain to us what was about to happen. Finally, he sat us down and plunged in. “I already know,” my older sister calmly informed him. “I heard you talking to the air.” (We can only assume she overheard him talking on the phone at some point.) “Better take your gun,” she added. “I hear they have a bad leader over there.”

I think that’s a pretty telling snapshot of what it’s like growing up as a military kid. You get introduced to geopolitical events and foreign conflicts a lot sooner than most people because of the direct impact on your own life. Even as kids, we knew who Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were.

What were some of the things you assumed were normal during your growing up that you later learned were pretty unique to your family? For one, I didn’t realize not everyone takes family photos decked out in matching red, white, and blue outfits. My dad would let us sit in his truck, and he’d paint our faces camouflage. It was just normal to see guys in uniform everywhere, and I remember watching my dad polish his black Army boots at night. Everybody’s dads were soldiers. Everybody’s dads got deployed. These were just things we took in stride and accepted alongside the other constants of life: moves, promotions, military galas, and homecomings.

Your dad went with you when you visited the 9/11 memorial earlier this year. What was it like experiencing it with him? My dad commissioned in 1997, just four years before 9/11. He served in both Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. But he had never visited the Sept. 11 Memorial. When I told him I was going there on a reporting trip, he asked to come along.

Making our way through the museum was very emotional and very somber. We spent hours there and could have stayed longer. It added an extra note of gravity reflecting on how the atrocity committed at this site set in motion so many of the events of our lives—both his and mine.

The War on Terror, like all wars, left behind a complicated legacy. But it should not go unremarked that there’s never again been another attack like that on American soil.