The 'virtues' of living together

The CBS "Early Show" recently did a segment on the subject of marriage. The discussion was culturally cutting-edge, with the two guests extolling the virtues of living together, and going so far as to make fun of the institution of marriage.

Guest "expert" Brian Balthazar, whose expertise I can only surmise is in being knowledgeable about cultural trends, had this to say: "I don't know what I'm having for dinner tomorrow let alone a week. People stayed at the same job for 20 years. Now that never happens. People are thinking, marriage forever? The vows are honor and obey? Who wants to sign up for that?!"

His fellow guest "expert" was Dr. Robi Ludwig, advertised online as a psychotherapist and supposed authority on marriage, who explained the benefits of living together. "Living together really always gives the person the option to get out. . . . And also it's like a trial for marriage. So you're trying out to be a husband, you're trying out to be a wife."

In fact, a study done by the National Center for Health Statistics, and reported on in The New York Times, showed that couples who live together before getting married are less likely to stay married. In a piece I wrote for the spring 2009 issue of Salvo magazine, Dr. William Doherty, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota, speculated on a possible explanation for this: "The longer you postpone marriage, the more likely you are on average to have had multiple cohabiting partners. And the more breakups of quasi-marital relationships you've had may make you more likely to say, 'Well, relationships end.'"

The CBS "Early Show" would have been doing its viewers a favor by presenting a different point of view, or even a few statistics and facts. As an alumna of that show (as a producer for its earlier incarnation, "CBS This Morning"), I can say that it's highly unlikely that segment would even have been considered one-sided.

You can watch the segment for yourself: