The purpose of seeing you

What is the purpose of getting together with friends? Well, in a sense the word "purpose" is already wrongheaded. As C.S. Lewis noted, friendship is the most unnecessary of the Loves---like flowers, like music. Nevertheless, if we scratch the surface of our chosen friendships we detect a purpose or a calculation for the company we keep.

I have sometimes dreaded certain parties or meetings or highbrow conferences, and I have lately identified my lack of enthusiasm as a distaste for "small talk." Partly this is sin on my part: lovelessness, laziness, self-centeredness, fear of man. But to the extent that it is a legitimate dislike, I have taken to praying before get-togethers that the Holy Spirit will be the unseen presence in the group and will be working something special for the Kingdom of God.

Today I was affirmed in my antipathy for small talk---and assuaged of no little guilt---by a statement of the Apostle Paul, who expressed his purpose for wanting to visit the Roman Christians: "For I long to see you, that I might impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you---that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine" (Romans 1:11-12).

So then, it's a good thing and not a sinful thing to long for conversations that are spiritually meaningful. I don't mean these talks have to be happy and non-confrontational, either. Confrontation is fine. Rebuke is fine. Much harder work for me than both is the studied avoidance of all meaningful intercourse.

Next week I am meeting with Kathleen. I am not a cessationist when it comes to spiritual gifts because I see that Kathleen has the gift of prophecy. I come away from our coffee dates knocked off my feet on the road to Damascus. It's wonderful, it's not-to-be-missed. It's oil and perfume and all the rest of Proverbs 27:9.

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