The little deals we make

My father could talk about nutrition all day. He never fails to be excited by the latest health food discovery, and he always insists I stop what I’m doing to let him read to me some magazine’s snazzy centerfold of the top 10 “most important” foods, which invariably starts with broccoli. Today he is sure he has found the perfect food—sweet potato soup—and asked me to make him a batch. I will. But after the soup and main course I know he will finish off the meal with a big hunk of chocolate cake with extra frosting, and then nibble all day from his jumbo-size bag of Cocoa Magic.

I know exactly how my father is thinking. These are the deals we make with ourselves. My dad realizes (somewhere in his subconscious) that the second ingredient on the Cocoa Magic package is sugar, but he is telling himself that the broccoli or sweet potato soup will take care of it, will neutralize it.

This is a harmless enough self-deception when you’re 90 years old, and it has to do with food. (My brother always tells my dad when he goes on about his diet, “Look, Dad, don’t worry about nutrition; you made it, you’re ahead of the game!”) But I have to warn myself not to play a similar game in the spiritual world. Do I speak any old sloppy way toward my husband and then kid myself that I am still pleasing to God because I read my Bible? Do I say to myself, “Well, part of my life is a mess, but God takes into account that I fast on Mondays”? Or, “It doesn’t matter if I poison my mind and eyes with semi-pornographic movies because I’m covered with the Blood”? Or, “I’m not very friendly at church, but at least I encourage people by writing for a Christian magazine and website”? As if God grades on a curve or offers extra credit work for those who flunk? God forbid.

About my writing job: God says that even if you speak like an angel but you are a loser in the love department, you are nothing and you gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:2–3).

Another favorite saying of my brother’s is “When all is said and done, more will have been said than done.” Let us hope not. Let’s make sure we don’t just talk excitedly about the latest great sermon, seminar, spiritual insight, or John Piper book but really put their insights into practice.

It’s all about not living double-mindedly (James 1:8). I just served my father a lunch of homemade vegetable soup from grass fed beef bones purchased at Whole Foods, and now I hear him in the other room crunching his sugary cereal while reading the paper. Oh well.