Telling painful stories

Jenny Rough is rarely at a loss for words. But after her first meeting with Carl and Marsha Mueller, she couldn’t speak. Or work. Or even eat. The weight of what happened to the Muellers’ daughter, Kayla, at the hands of ISIS terrorists overwhelmed Jenny for days. Eventually, as the tide of her grief for the Muellers waned, she began to write. You can read her story, “The search for Kayla,” in this issue.

How long did you spend with the Muellers while reporting this story? The Muellers graciously welcomed me into their home for two days where we talked, cried, shared meals together, and traveled around Prescott, Ariz. We spent time at a playground called Kayla’s Hands. The community built it to honor Kayla’s work as a humanitarian who helped children.

Why did you want to tell their story? I read a letter Kayla wrote in captivity and had slipped out to her parents. The letter talked about how she realized that even in prison one can be free. It said she had come to a place in her experience where, in every sense of the word, she had surrendered herself to her Creator. She used the precious little space she had on the notebook paper to write out prayers for her family rather than asking them to pray for her. The letter touched me, and I wanted to learn more about Kayla, her life’s work, and her family. I wanted to hear about how Carl and Marsha navigated their Christian faith through the depths of such pain, suffering, and loss.

Were they eager to talk, or did it take some convincing? The Muellers don’t want Kayla or any ISIS victims to be forgotten. They want people to understand the terror that came from allowing ISIS to grow. Marsha told me some people suggested that she and Carl should only speak of who Kayla was, what she stood for, and what she did—and to skip the horror that Kayla endured. The Muellers don’t see it that way.

Most of the time, people experience grief suddenly. The Muellers lost Kayla gradually. When did they realize she was never coming home? That question brings tears to my eyes. The Muellers have been through so much. After ISIS reported she’d been killed, a number of conspiracy theories circulated. At one point, someone claimed Kayla had been spotted in Iraq. Because the Muellers didn’t have a body, they didn’t want to say for sure she had been killed. Marsha said they had a hard time letting go of the dream that their daughter was still alive. But as they’ve learned more, they have come to accept that she’s not.

How do you approach a painful story like this? As a writer in the body of Christ, I think of myself as a ligament. The Muellers had a lot to say about what happened, Kayla had a lot to say through her life’s work and letters, and readers would benefit from hearing and understanding what happened. I’m the part that connects the family to the readers. In that sense writing about Kayla was a collaborative process with the Muellers, and that eased the pain, I hope.