Should vs shouldn't

In an airport recently I saw a Peace Corps slogan: "Never have to start sentences with: 'I should've...'" This got me thinking how much of my life is comprised of sentences that began with: "I shouldn't have..." I suppose it's a mathematical equation of sorts, to minimize each, though I suspect trying to reduce one leads us to unconsciously increase the other.

I should have said something, but I didn't want to offend anyone. We add a should've to our pile for fear of a shouldn't have. Or: I shouldn't have been so hard on him, but I want him to have good manners. For fear of a should've we take on a shouldn't.

Even when we're not trading a should've for a shouldn't have, I wonder if we focus so much on one that we ignore the other. And I wonder if this is true for the Church as a whole, however we conceive of that term in our theological prejudices. Are we so caught up in shouldn'ts that we forget to preach the shoulds? People outside the church certainly think so, when asked what the Christian church represents to them. What's more, how often are our shoulds really just disguised shouldn'ts (e.g., you should be in an accountability group, you should guard your tongue, you should avoid temptation)?

I suppose the shouldn'ts are easier. It doesn't cost much to stop doing something. The goals of the particular church aren't threatened by shouldn'ts. But when we start stressing the shoulds -- seek the lost, feed the hungry, protect the innocent -- some people inevitably take it seriously enough to pick up their crosses and go aways down that narrow path, rather than simply concentrating on staying within its borders. They become nettlesome Christians, and I think sometimes the ones they needle the most are the rest of us in church, with their calls to action and sacrifice.

I'm thinking, too, that while I'm haunted by shouldn't haves, over time those should'ves are going to add up, and I don't think faithful attendance in one's accountability group is going to pass muster when the talents are counted. I'm thinking in addition to the list of won'ts I try to stick with, I ought to have a list of wills that get more of my attention.