Quotables

“I am going to decree the beginning of Christmas on Oct. 1.”

Venezuelan President NICOLAS MADURO during a Sept. 2 television address. The socialist leader’s promise to begin Christmas early seemed aimed to distract from his contested July reelection and subsequent brutal crackdown on protesters.

“It is becoming increasingly clear that there is no longer any floor.”

Analysts CRAIG MOFFETT and MICHAEL NATHANSON, writing after their study revealed cable providers and similar conventional pay-TV services lost 1.6 million subscribers in the second quarter of 2024 amid a nonstop cord-cutting trend.

“Once he saw he couldn’t get in our room, he just went to the next one.”

LYELA SAYARATH, 16, a student who survived a mass shooting at Apalachee High School in Georgia Sept. 4 when the 14-year-old suspect saw her classroom door was closed.¹

“College students [say] they find it easier to use nicotine pouches at work or in class because they are easier to conceal.”

Ohio State University epidemiologist BRITTNEY KELLER-HAMILTON, commenting on the growing popularity of addictive oral nicotine pouches among Gen Z.

“They’re everywhere.”

Bigfoot hunter JIM LANSDALE, explaining where skeptics might find the mythical creature. Believers hosted a festival dedicated to Bigfoot in Natchitoches, La., on Sept. 7.²

¹CNN; ²The Shreveport-Bossier City Advocate