If you want the money, you pick it up.

Cathy Harris, cashier at a 7-Eleven in Charlottesville, Va., to a robber who demanded money from Ms. Harris's cash drawer. Ms. Harris threw the drawer on the floor, and as the thief was leaving with $36 in loot, she threw a stapler at him, hitting him in the shoulder.

I think Reno County just picked themselves a pretty great judge.

Sarah Sweet-McKinnon, after losing last week to her husband, Steve Becker, in a race for county judge in Kansas. It was the first time in two decades that the incumbent Mr. Becker had faced an opponent, and his wife argued during the campaign that it was time for a change.

I think they were just overwhelmed.

Peter Vaughn, spokesman for Duke University's development office, after two wealthy donors to the school demanded that two gargoyles that bear their likenesses be removed from the doorway of a dormitory that is named after them. "This was an earnest attempt on the part of Duke to honor them," Mr. Vaughn said of the two Duke graduates, Aubrey and Kathleen McClendon.

I advise everyone to eat your McDonald's-before you play me especially.

Tennis star Serena Williams, who recently signed a promotion deal with McDonald's, joking with comedian Jay Leno about whether she would advise young tennis players to eat at the fast-food chain.