Now listen here, buster. You pull a stunt like that on me and your last experience on earth is going to be looking up from a pool of blood and hearing me ask, 'How do I reload this thing?'

House majority leader Dick Armey, on how his wife would react if he were caught in a sex scandal.

[I will] go back to the banking center downtown and shoot the man that opened the account and every time I pull the trigger, spell my name.

Congressional candidate Bobby Kern, according to a police report, to employees of an Indianapolis Bank One branch, where he had trouble accessing his account. Police did not arrest the candidate and said there was probably not enough evidence to support a charge that his threat was real. His campaign manager said Mr. Kern doesn't even own a gun. Mr. Kern is a Democrat challenging Rep. Dan Burton.

This will bring us together.

Casino patron Sami Alayan, on the power of the new $50 million Oasis casino in Jericho to bring Palestinians and Israelis together. The gambling establishment, which opened last week, is the first casino in Palestinian lands. Casino investors hope to attract foreign tourists, Israelis, and Palestinians who live in Israel. The Palestinian Authority has barred residents of the West Bank and Gaza Strip from patronizing the casino; the spiritual leaderof Hamas has condemned it and made a vague threat against it.

Crook Improves Writing, Steals More.

Associated Press headline about a Davenport, Iowa, bandit whose first robbery almost went awry because a convenience store clerk had difficulty reading the handwriting on a note demanding money from his cash register. In three subsequent holdups, clerks had no problem reading his demand notes.

We have to provide for ourselves because the government's not going to do it.

Lt. Dmitry Bui, whose soldiers are helping harvest carrots and potatoes from a former Soviet collective farm near Moscow called "Lenin's Ray of Light."