I'm not a religious person at all, but I would definitely love to meet God just to ask Him what He thinks of what's going on now, with all the asinine wars in the Middle East and stupid terrorism.

NHL superstar Brett Hull of the Detroit Red Wings, during a "My Story" segment during ABC's Saturday hockey telecast.

They just were reading the wrong magazine, or watching the wrong Springer show.

President George W. Bush, during a White House ceremony honoring NCAA champions, on how the terrorists misjudged American resolve to fight them. The president said the attackers were wrong to conclude that the Jerry Springer Show typified a "soft ... self-absorbed" America so decadent it wouldn't defend itself.

We don't ever expect Johnson & Johnson or PG&E to buy commercials on this show.

Kevin Reilly, president of the cable network FX, on the new TV-MA-rated police drama The Shield. The Los Angeles Times says the show's premiere episode makes the crass ABC show NYPD Blue by comparison "look like a Disney movie, featuring brash treatment of sex, violence, and nudity that may be unprecedented for a network partly supported by advertisers."

It wasn't a cat fight.

Disgraced former figure-skating champion Tonya Harding, describing her victory in a bout with presidential accuser Paula Jones on Fox television's Celebrity Boxing.

To find her not guilty by reason of insanity is to say that we no longer have self-accountability in our society.

Houston prosecutor Kaylynn Williford, to the jury that last week rejected the insanity defense in the Andrea Yates murder trial.