POETRY IN SLOW MOTION.

Hockey legend GORDIE HOWE, describing his return to professional hockey--albeit at the minor-league level--as a player at age 69. His first game with the American Hockey League's Syracuse Crunch is scheduled for April 1 (no kidding) against the Carolina Monarchs. Mr. Howe hung up his skates at age 52 in 1980; his National Hockey League career began in 1946.

Morale among House Republicans is about where it was when President Jerry Ford pardoned Richard Nixon.

Conservative activist PAUL WEYRICH, complaining that the congressional GOP is adrift, "unable to stand up to Bill Clinton and Al Gore when they have lost credibility and moral standing even with much of the media."

We're on a roll.

Socialist congressman BERNIE SANDERS (I-Vt.), rejoicing in the Republican inaction.

"[I want to see] at least one smoking gun before we proceed with impeachment."

House Judiciary Committee Chairman HENRY HYDE, who said on a weekend TV talk show that his staff is researching the law on how to impeach a president. Two days earlier, Georgia Republican Rep. Bob Barr called on Mr. Hyde's committee to discuss impeachment proceedings.

Quick, pass the hat and we'll try to find a pigeon./ After that, we can chat and help you get religion./ Showww me the money.

Sung to the tune of the Macarena, performed by The Washington Post's David Broder and a man dressed as a Buddhist monk at Washington's 112th-annual Gridiron dinner.

[I]t scares me that so many people have become blas' about behavior that once would have been considered scandalous--and that our children, so alert to the personal affront, seem incapable of moral indignation.

Washington Post columnist WILLIAM RASPBERRY on his inability to get a group of Duke University students interested in the campaign-finance scandal engulfing the White House.

Residence in the Brown household was detrimental to the children.... [T]hese factors have included a highly emotionalized atmosphere of ill-feeling toward the father....

Judge NANCY WIEBEN STOCK reasoning in a sealed judicial opinion that O.J. Simpson's children should not reside with their maternal grandparents while they appealed her first ruling. The New York Post March 20 obtained a copy of the opinion and printed excerpts. Judge Stock is the subject of a recall effort because of the decision in the Simpson custody case and another case in which she granted custody of two children to a woman who later murdered them.