Quick Takes: Rock relocation

It’s a little rock with a big reputation. But months ago, the granite chunk known as Portable disappeared from its familiar spot at the base of a rock-climbing haven in Squamish, British Columbia. Climbers often used the small boulder to practice grips and holds before attempting to scale a popular rock face nearby. But perhaps owing to nominative determinism, someone moved Portable—not just away from the Squamish rock face but entirely out of Canada. On Jan. 19, a social media user posted a photo of Portable at the base of a popular rock face near Bishop, Calif., more than 1,700 miles away from its original location. A Canadian climber visiting California confirmed that Portable had been relocated. Ethan Salvo, a 23-year-old Squamish climber, told the CBC that someone had not only moved Portable but also adorned the rock with googly eyes and “a really sick hat.” But the disguise didn’t fool Salvo, who knows the small boulder well: “The minute I saw the shape, I knew it was it. It just looked like home. It felt like home. It weighed like home.” Salvo added that climbers may never know the real story of how the rock traveled so far, but he plans to return Portable to its rightful home soon.

Moderation on tap

Bucking centuries of tradition, the United Kingdom’s Royal Navy is drying out. In January, officials announced that sailors on ship will have to limit their alcohol intake to about six pints per week and abstain from all alcohol at least two days a week. In 1970, the Royal Navy ceased allotting a daily rum ration to sailors, thus ending a 300-year-old tradition. The steady march toward dry ships has some naval traditionalists worried the new policies could harm morale. “If we start down this route, the next thing is that you should only have salads at lunchtime and the whole raft of other things like that,” retired First Sea Lord Alan West told The Telegraph.

A hair-raising fight

Maybe the hair was holding him back. During the second round of a professional boxing match at Madison Square Garden Jan. 31, heavyweight Jarrell Miller came under a ferocious attack from opponent Kingsley Ibeh. The flurry of lefts and rights detached the front of Miller’s hairpiece causing the toupee to flop up and down with every blow to the face. Frustrated, Miller ripped the hairpiece off, flung it into the crowd, and eventually won a split decision. After the fight, Miller said he recently lost his hair after accidentally washing with ammonia bleach instead of shampoo.

Pass the potatoes

A bumper crop of potatoes in Germany has left some farmers with stuffed storage barns and a serious lack of buyers. In the aftermath of the biggest yield in a quarter century, farmers across Germany scrambled for buyers late last year. When one Leipzig-area grower had a big sale fall through in December, he decided simply to give the spuds away. Throughout January, the unnamed farmer’s spare 440,000 pounds of potatoes went to Berlin for distribution to food banks, churches, and the general public. But the farmer’s generous offer wasn’t universally acclaimed. The Brandenburg Farmers’ Association called the move a “disgusting PR stunt” that would “destroy regional markets.”

The buck stops here

Suffolk County, N.Y., police were prepared for the worst when they responded to a bank’s burglar alarm Jan. 18. But rather than find an armed and dangerous human inside, police discovered an antlered and confused buck deer. According to police, the large buck broke into the bank and caused quite a mess trying to discover an escape path. Officers were eventually able to lasso the animal and lead it safely outside. “We think the buck was looking for bucks,” a police spokesman said on social media.

Look what the surf washed in

Add a little salt and some oil and the residents of an English seaside town might be on course for a good snack. In mid-January, beachcombers in the town of Eastbourne discovered their shoreline covered in french fries and bags of whole onions. The loot likely came from a cargo vessel that lost containers in the rough seas of the English Channel the month prior. Sadly for residents, officials cautioned against eating the water-logged fries and onions. Some in the town hurried down to the beach to begin cleaning up the mess due to concern that local birds and seals might be less constrained in the face of a free meal and inadvertently get caught in the plastic bags.

Powering through it

Talia Caravello may have thought she was improving her home when she shelled out $1,500 for a portable generator as snow and ice blanketed her Nashville neighborhood Jan. 25. But try telling that to her homeowners’ association. With the power out, Caravello fired up her newly acquired generator and invited friends and family over to get out of the cold. Hours later, she got an email from an HOA official instructing her to kill the generator or face fines. According to the HOA letter, the portable generator detracted from the com­munity’s aesthetic guidelines and posed a fire hazard. Faced with scrutiny from local media, however, the HOA board reversed its decision and allowed Caravello a one-time exception to use the generator until power was restored.