Criminal negligence

John R. McPhail’s master plan missed one detail: a seatbelt. Police near Portland, Ore., say the 57-year-old man staged his own kidnapping on the morning of July 24 in order to extort money from his mother. Witnesses say a bound and hooded McPhail tumbled out of a Dodge Neon on I-205 near his Camas, Ore., home. The drivers of the Neon briefly stopped, but then fled in the car. Originally, McPhail told detectives he had been kidnapped, but later admitted he botched an attempt to extort money from relatives by kidnapping himself. Oregon State Police booked the man on initiating a false police report and conspiring to commit first-degree theft.

Above reproach?

A 44-year-old Dutchman had the temerity to insult Willem-Alexander, the King of the Netherlands. And he earned jail time for it. A court in the Netherlands found the man, unidentified by police, guilty of cursing the Dutch king in an April Facebook rant, describing him as a murderer, rapist, and thief. He was subsequently sentenced to 30 days in jail with 16 days suspended. Earlier this year, the nation’s justice minister said the Netherlands would soon repeal its ban on insulting the nation’s royal family.

Bad karma

A Buddhist monk in Louisiana will serve 30 months in prison after a court on July 25 sentenced him for wire fraud. Khang Nguyen Le, a Vietnamese national, admitted he swindled $263,463 from his own Buddhist temple in Lafayette, La., in 2013 and 2014 and lost the money gambling at a Lake Charles, La., casino. According to prosecutors, Le may face deportation following his sentence.

Games reporters play

Out of the corner of his eye, something caught John Kirby’s attention. In the middle of his U.S. Department of State July 21 briefing, the government spokesman spotted a reporter playing a game on his phone. “You’re playing the Pokémon thing right there, aren’t you?” Kirby asked a journalist who was supposed to be covering the terrorism briefing. The scribe responded, “I’m just keeping an eye on it.” Finally when the briefing ended, Kirby asked the journalist if he made much progress on Pokémon Go. The reporter said no, then complained about the lack of signal.

Silent school spirit

An elementary school in Australia has banned clapping and cheering out loud at school assemblies, caving to the wishes of students who don’t like loud noises. The Elanora Heights Public School announced the policy in the school’s July 18 newsletter, saying, “Instead of clapping, the students are free to punch the air, pull excited faces and wriggle about on the spot.” The notice cheerfully claims silent cheering is a great way for children to expend energy. In April, an Australian school banned hugging, suggesting high-fives were more appropriate forms of affection.

No grandfather clause?

When Melbourne, Australia, resident Mark Anderson parked his car in his neighborhood on June 5, he was doing everything right. But on June 9 when he went to pick up his vehicle, he discovered that in the interim, the city had changed his permit-parking-only zone into a no-parking zone. To make matters worse, he discovered a $120 parking fine attached to his windshield. Anderson said he intends to fight the ticket in court, alleging the GPS system in his vehicle can prove that he parked the car before the sign change.

Animal assault

Comparing the initiative to the first moon landing in terms of ambition, the government of New Zealand announced a plan to rid the Pacific nation of all rats, possums, weasels, and feral cats by 2050. New Zealand Prime Minister John Key blamed the nonnative animals for devastating the islands’ population of native birds like the kiwi. The invasive animals originally came to New Zealand as stowaways on ships transporting European settlers. Ministers with the government say they’ll use poison, traps, and baits.

Things are looking up

A driver in Vermont took the instructions of her GPS device a little too literally—and ended up with her car suspended in the air and pointed at the sky. Police in Mendon, Vt., say driver Nabila Altahan of Dorchester, Mass., on July 27 immediately obeyed when her GPS device told her to “turn around.” The result: Her car proceeded up the wires attached to a utility pole and became stuck there. Altahan, 30, and her passenger were uninjured.

As seen on TV

A Kentucky man has been caught and charged for attempting the Michigan bottle deposit scam first made famous in a 1996 episode of Seinfeld. A state trooper pulled over Brian Everidge about 40 miles northwest of Detroit in April for speeding and later found his box truck stuffed with empty cans. During the stop, Everidge admitted he was bringing the cans to Michigan to collect the 10-cent deposit rather than the 5-cent deposit given in other states. Unfortunately for Everidge, returning non-Michigan bottles and cans in the Wolverine State is illegal. Prosecutors in Livingston County have charged Everidge with a felony count of beverage return of nonrefundable bottles, which can carry a five-year prison sentence. Everidge was standing trial in late July.