Quick Takes

Toked up sales

The three rules of Girl Scout cookie sales: location, location, location. An enterprising Portland, Ore., girl decided to hawk her Thin Mints and Samoas outside a marijuana shop. Under the supervision of her aunt, the unidentified girl set up a table and a banner reading “Satisfy Your Munchies” outside the Foster Buds Marijuana Dispensary on Feb. 20. Business was good according to the scout, who told KATU she sold more than her goal of 35 boxes. According to the girl’s aunt, “The Girl Scouts organization said they don’t condone this, but it’s not against the rules.”

2016 and beyond?

The Bernie Sanders presidential campaign may eventually fizzle, but a handful of Sanders supporters may Feel the Bern for a lifetime. In February, 19-year-old Arizona State University undergrad Colten Caudle launched BernieSingles.com, an upstart dating website for singles interested in meeting other supporters of the Vermont socialist. As of Feb. 24, the dating website had over 6,400 profiles signed up, including a few fake profiles for Donald Trump.

Green eggs and slam

Police in Hamilton, Ontario, arrested a 19-year-old on Feb. 22 after the teen assaulted a man. The teen’s weapons: bacon and eggs. According to authorities, the teen became agitated at an acquaintance at his table before picking up his breakfast and flinging it at the 29-year-old’s face. The victim was later transported to the hospital with an injury. According to Constable Steve Welton, the charge will be assault with a weapon. “The weapon was in fact the food,” he told the CBC, “and the intent was to cause injury or harm.”

Long return

When he was 12, Frank Ryan checked out a football book from his local public library. Now, 72 years later—and after a stint as mayor of his New Jersey town—Ryan has gotten around to returning the book. Ryan’s daughter and son found the missing library book in the 84-year-old’s attic in December. Fearing possible legal ramifications, Ryan was at first reluctant to return the copy of Football Through the Years he had checked out from the Bound Brook Memorial Library in 1944. After some time, though, the former public servant decided he was ready and returned the book on Feb. 23.

Protectionism for $500

Syndicated quiz show Jeopardy! quietly changed its rules in January to prevent Canadians from becoming contestants. The move has flummoxed some Canadian trivia buffs who note that host Alex Trebek hails from Canada and today has dual citizenship. According to the Ottawa Citizen, the move took place in January when the Jeopardy! website’s registration test began requiring a ZIP code for entry (something Canadians do not have). Officials with the show wouldn’t say for certain, but hinted that the new policy might be a result of Canada’s recent anti-spam legislation.

Green bean surprise

A woman preparing for a church dinner in Farmington, Utah, in February knew something was wrong when one of the green beans she emptied from a can had odd colors. At first, she thought one of the beans was burned. It wasn’t. “As I got closer to lift it off the spoon, I saw eyes,” Troy Walker explained to a local ABC affiliate. What Walker pulled out of the can was actually a snake’s decapitated head. “That’s when I dropped it and screamed.” Rather than risk it, Walker returned all 30 cans of green beans to the grocery store for a refund, fearing that the rest of the snake might be in one of the other cans. Western Family, the company that produced the can of green beans, said it would suspend shipments of similar cans of vegetables until completing an investigation.

Bounce test

According to Democratic Rep. Debbie Dingell, Michigan has a valuable resource to revive the beleaguered local economy: potholes. In a bid to attract companies testing driverless cars, Michigan hopes to build a test track out of a 330-acre abandoned factory site near Ypsilanti. President Obama in January proposed $4 billion in funding for the development of driverless cars, and both Michigan and California want the federal cash. Dingell, who represents Ypsilanti, says Michigan should attract the most business. “California is not the real world—they don’t have four seasons,” she said. “We’ve got real potholes. It’s a much more real-world scenario.”

Soup bandit

A hungry burglar allegedly broke into a Vancouver, Wash., home on Feb. 21 and began cooking soup in the homeowner’s kitchen. Police say 46-year-old Jon Selby woke the homeowner when he turned on the microwave oven. According to resident Terra Galicia, she emerged from her bedroom to discover Selby preparing leftover soup she had left in the fridge. Police responded quickly to a 911 call, apprehended Selby inside the home, and charged him with residential burglary.

Pretend pol

When Republican state Sen. David Burke appeared at Mohawk High School in Sycamore, Ohio, on Jan. 14, school officials were surprised to see him—especially considering a man claiming to be Burke’s stand-in already toured the school and addressed a government class on Dec. 15. An investigation revealed that the Dec. 15 visitor—an 18-year-old named Izaha Akins—had scammed the school. According to police, Akins told school officials Burke had stepped down due to illness and he had taken over the position. Akins told the Toledo Blade he posed as a state senator in order to prove the laxness of school security. Feeling less than charitable, the Wyandot County sheriff’s office charged Akins with impersonating a peace officer.