Quick Takes

Happy birthday to you (and you and you)

The first of September will forever be a busy day in the Stevenson household. Wife Lauren Stevenson gave birth to son Henry this Sept. 1, one year to the day after giving birth to daughter Tommie and two years to the day after giving birth to son Axel. All three Sept. 1 birthdays were natural, according to the 23-year-old mother from Dickinson, N.D. When asked by The Dickinson Press, 30-year-old husband Seth Stevenson had an idea what future Septembers will involve: “Toys everywhere.”

Overdue crackdown

Do you have a book overdue from the Athens-Limestone Public Library in Alabama? Librarians there are ready to turn the screws. Officials with the library said they would soon be enforcing a new policy that punishes library scofflaws with a fine of $100, a 30-day stint in the city jail, or both. According to records, the library has $200,000 of overdue books.

No trees, please

Ellen Burgess has a simple mission: no more trees. The Calgary, Alberta, woman is protesting a city initiative to plant trees in a small, nameless park in her Brentwood neighborhood. City officials planted eight new trees in the park before Burgess began a door-to-door effort to gin up opposition to the greenery. In an interview with the CBC, Burgess said she believed the trees would do more harm than good for her neighborhood. “If you give people more places to hide, more naughty things will be done,” she said. “We’ve had our urban campers here and people using the trees and the bushes as their own personal toilets, and why do we want to give them more places to do that?”

Trademarked man

Computer security pioneer John McAfee can jump back into the computer anti-virus business, but he can’t use his own name without a fight. In June, chipmaker Intel, which now owns the eponymous “McAfee” trademark, threatened legal action against McAfee and his technology startup MGT Capital Investments when the company purchased a small anti-virus firm and McAfee announced he would rename MGT Capital after himself. A judge in a Manhattan federal court will be asked to decide whether McAfee can use his own name.

The littlest litterbug?

Harper Westover’s piggy bank has squeezed out of a tight spot. The 2-year-old girl from Washington, D.C., received on Sept. 1 a citation and $75 fine for littering. According to the Department of Public Works, Harper littered in an alley near her home. The offending litter? Officials with the D.C. bureaucracy contend they found in the alley a bag of trash along with an envelope addressed to Harper from a University of Wisconsin fan club for kids. Harper’s mother, a lawyer for the National Labor Relations Board, called the city and argued the envelope probably fell from a bag during trash pickup. “They list Harper as a ‘violator.’ As a mom, it bothered me,” Westover told The Washington Post. Eventually a District official promised to waive Harper’s litterbug penalty.

Jersey rules

Often regarded as the most valuable soccer franchise in the world, Manchester United has a new way of saving money that players may not be happy about. Team officials have instructed players for the British soccer club to stop swapping jerseys with opposing athletes after matches. The jersey swapping tradition is an old one among soccer clubs. But Manchester officials reportedly said the practice is “not cost effective.”

Hot topic

Police and firefighters were called to an Ohio middle school after nearly 40 students suffered indigestion from eating extraordinarily hot Bhut Jolokia peppers. School officials say an unidentified student at Milton-Union Middle School in West Milton, Ohio, brought in the peppers, colloquially known as ghost peppers, on Sept. 2. At a rating of more than 1 million Scovilles, the Bhut Jolokia pepper is one of the hottest in the world. First responders treated students for hives, excessive sweating, watering eyes, and blotchy skin. One eighth-grader reported that before paramedics arrived, he and his classmates were scrounging for milk.

Prime-time crime

When a would-be robber tried to steal from John Sullivan, the Kansas City, Mo., resident didn’t bother to throw the book at him. Instead he threw his 50-inch TV. An unidentified intruder barged into Sullivan’s living room around 10 p.m. on Sept. 3, brandished a gun at Sullivan and his wife, and demanded money. But rather than oblige the intruder, Sullivan, whose four young sons were asleep upstairs, said he picked up the nearest weapon: His 30-pound, flat-screen television. He hurled the TV at the intruder, charged him, and yelled loudly. “It was all instinct,” Sullivan later told WDAF. The wannabe robber fled, and Sullivan and his family emerged without harm. The TV apparently did not.

Fish fail

Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi lost both his dignity and his balance while attempting to save British Prime Minister Theresa May from an attack. While on a boat tour of a lake in Hangzhou, China, during the G-20 summit in September, a fish leaped into a boat carrying foreign dignitaries. Floundering near May and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, the wriggling fish caused many to turn for cover. But not Renzi. The Italian prime minister, also known by the nickname “The Scrapper,” charged the fish and attempted to kick it overboard. Renzi, however, reportedly missed and went tumbling to the deck of the boat.