Paper chase

The Kaysville, Utah, police department put out a desperate plea on March 6 to local residents asking them to stop stealing rolls of toilet paper out of the police station bathroom. Visitors to the station have made complaints that the men’s room in the station lobby never has toilet paper available. “We have someone who is employed to actually stock that, and it shouldn’t be running out so quickly,” Officer Joshua Danielson told KSL. At the same time, a spike in consumer demand led to supermarkets running out of their stocks of toilet paper across the state. The same day the police department reported their toilet paper crisis on social media, a citizen donated a half-dozen rolls, telling officers, “You need this more than I do.”

Mystery spray

A Florida seventh grader cleared out a gymnasium by accident when he mistakenly sprayed pepper spray at school. According to Principal Evan Daniels of Highlands Middle School in Jacksonville, Fla., the student believed the canister contained body fragrance when he took it from another student’s backpack. It was pepper spray. “[He] actually sprayed himself as if he were applying a body fragrance product,” Daniels told The Florida Times-Union. The school sent 41 students to the hospital for mi nor injuries, and the student who brought the contraband onto campus will face discipline.

Across the pond

For anyone in Hampton, N.H., looking for his lost recycling bin, an Irish beachcomber may have pertinent information. Vinny Hyland found a piece of a green Hampton recycling bin while walking along the beach in Derrynane, Ireland, on March 1. He posted a picture to the New Hampshire town’s Facebook page asking if anyone there had an idea how it traveled more than 2,800 miles across the Atlantic Ocean. “That is some journey across the Atlantic,” Hyland said on the social media site.

Breaking and exiting

He may have burgled his house, but at least the man Oklahoma City media has termed the “polite burglar” offered his victim a hearty handshake. Police say an Oklahoma City resident went downstairs to check on a noise he heard in the night while his wife and three children were upstairs. When the homeowner flipped on the lights, he saw a stranger seemingly frozen in his living room. The intruder began explaining that he was hiding from the police, but then shook the homeowner’s hand, reassured him nothing had been stolen, and exited back through the window he had entered through earlier. Once outside, the man closed the window and ran off. Police, who had been tracking the suspect via helicopter, later picked him up hiding in a nearby ditch.

Straight from the faucet

A leaking pipe turned water into wine for the residents of one Italian village. A malfunction at the Cantina Settecani Castelvetro’s winery in Settecani, Italy, leaked sparkling red wine into the village’s water supply on March 4. The mishap led to foamy, pink water coming through the taps in villagers’ homes. In a Facebook post, the winery apologized, assuring residents that whatever wine they had consumed through the water mains was actually fit for bottling. One social media respondent asked the winery to time their next mishap for after 7:30 p.m.

Birthday behind bars

Ruth Bryant always said she wanted to get arrested and taken to jail. And for her 100th birthday celebration, that’s just what happened. A Roxboro, N.C., police deputy arrived at Bryant’s birthday party at a local assisted living home and placed Bryant under arrest while her daughter watched in disbelief. Bryant said going to jail was on her bucket list. In on the gag, the deputy complained when Bryant began playfully kicking her, threatening to add resisting arrest to the charges. After riding to the jail in a squad car, Bryant got the mugshot, Person County Jail jumpsuit, and one phone call she’d always wanted. “I’m in the jailhouse now!” she said after her ceremonial booking. “I finally got here!”

It’s been a busy 23 years

A Louisiana driver pulled over for an expired license plate admitted he’d been putting it off for a while. A long while. The stop occurred on Feb. 27 when Slidell, La., police spotted the man with tags that expired in September 1997. According to a Facebook post made by Slidell police, the man said, “Sorry officer. I’ve been busy lately and totally forgot to renew my vehicle registration. I will take care of it as soon as I get home.” An officer added to the post, “We can’t make this stuff up!”

Sticky situation

Where there’s demand, there’s a supplier. A British school suspended an entrepreneurial student caught selling squirts of hand sanitizer at school. Jenny Tompkins posted news of her son’s suspension to Facebook, noting that he had made only $11 from his scheme at Dixons Unity Academy in Leeds, U.K. According to Tompkins, her son used the money to buy a bag of Doritos and a kebab. “Very hard to discipline this behavior when his dad phones him from work to call him a legend,” she said.