Positive energy

Editor’s note: This story may not be ­suitable for younger readers.

Slightly sunburned from a few poolside afternoons in Greece and wearing several silver chains under a white Nike jersey, 20-year-old Alex Slater aspires to be the next chart-topping rapper and the future prime minister of England. The London native thinks quitting pornography will help him achieve those goals.

About a year ago, alongside co-founder Connor McLaren, Slater built an accountability app called Quittr to help others abstain from porn and better themselves too. Like many of Quittr’s more than 1 million users, most of them under 18, Slater believes pornography inhibits him from reaching his full potential.

“You can use that energy toward other things, like your goals,” explained Slater. “That’s like, really positive, like using that energy, harnessing it, and then transmuting it to other things.”

While there has been some opposition to the porn industry from a few celebrities and lawmakers, pornography has long been viewed as fairly normative. But pushback on porn has recently come from an unexpected place: young men inspired by a largely secular movement that promotes self-improvement.

Due mostly to easy internet access and sites like Pornhub, pornography use has become ubiquitous, particularly among men. According to a 2024 survey from the Barna Group, about 78% of men ages 13–65 watch pornography “to some extent,” up from 65% 10 years prior. The actual number of males who watch porn is likely much higher, since many view it well before their teen years. And official statistics on porn use don’t begin to account for the proliferation of “soft-core porn” (nude or immodest imagery) on social media and sites like OnlyFans.

Mainstream culture doesn’t entirely approve of pornography. Recently, celebrities like actor Terry Crews and singer Billie Eilish have spoken out about its dangers. Twenty-four states have passed age verification laws to prevent minors from accessing porn sites. According to accountability software Covenant Eyes, 46% of the population views porn as harmful.

But broadly, watching pornography is seen as an ordinary or unavoidable part of sexual development. A 2016 study published by the British Sociological Association concluded that pornography may have value as an entertainment form and educational tool. The main problem with viewing, according to researchers? How the parents of the study’s participants stigmatized it.

Chandler Rogers is the founder of Relay, an online pornography addiction program. Rogers said many sex therapists view all forms of sexual expression, including pornography, as morally neutral. According to some, “the problem is people’s shame around pornography,” Rogers said.

But now, many young men are questioning the overall narrative that porn is acceptable, even if they don’t believe it’s immoral. “I probably talked to a thousand guys personally over the last decade, and I think the theme that I’m hearing is this internal sense of loathing,” Rogers said. “They feel dirty, they feel completely just, yeah, powerless.”

Many men have discovered that pornography disturbs their in-person romantic relationships or prevents them from pursuing women in the real world. Slater blames it for the reason why so many Gen Z men are single or not interested in dating. “Instead of going out to a bar and talking to a girl, they could just, like, go on a website and skip all that small talk and just, like, get straight to the business pretty much,” he said.

Eddie Capparucci, a licensed counselor who specializes in treating sex and pornography addiction, says porn has become a major obstacle to relationships, partly because much of it has become increasingly violent and humiliating. As a result, many men who regularly watch porn struggle with a lack of normal desire. “I remember one client I had, he was 23, he was taking Viagra every single day,” Capparucci said.

Shame and lack of drive for real-life romance are the two main reasons men turn to Quittr, according to Slater. It’s not the only digital resource helping people overcome pornography addiction. Sites like Relay, Brainbuddy, and Covenant Eyes also offer resources. A Reddit group that describes itself as “a porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior recovery peer support forum” boasts almost 370,000 visitors weekly. According to a recent study from the American Survey Center, more than 60% of young men support making it more difficult to access online pornography.

With its video-game-like app aesthetic and partnerships with social media influencers, Quittr seems tailor-­made for that younger crowd. The app features chat capabilities, a content blocker, and a panic button that summons accountability partners while turning on the user’s front-facing camera. Its founders claim the app has helped more than 900,000 men stop using porn.

Slater says many young men see cutting out pornography as a means to becoming the best versions of themselves, much like going to the gym or avoiding seed oils.

“The whole movement is, you know, cut out all the bad things in your life and start working on improving your life,” said Slater. “You’ll become way happier, and you will start moving toward the life you’ve always wanted.”

Slater believes quitting porn will help him continue “being extremely successful in business.” He claimed in a post on X that he had his first million-dollar month in August.

Now that he’s kicked his porn habit, Slater also isn’t tempted to objectify or sexualize women, he says. Long term, Slater hopes that the culture will see pornography as “completely wrong, kind of like prostitution.”

Josh Glaser, president of Regeneration Ministries, sees plenty of common grace in how pushback on porn has come from the self-improvement industry. “But it is an insufficient move,” he said. For one thing, he wishes there was more widespread recognition of how pornography wounds the user’s current or future romantic partner. There’s also very little acknowledgment of the humanity of the people being filmed.

“What about becoming men who see people rather than see objects that are there just to fulfill your desire?” Glaser asked. Instead of emphasizing personal potential, “what about looking out for them and becoming men who love?”