Overlook it

"Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you have yourself cursed others" (Ecclesiastes 7:21).

We have all talked about other people in their absence (sometime under the righteous cloak of sharing prayer requests). But it is a queer feeling to discover that we have been talked about in our absence. For some reason, I never imagine that going on.

The other day, a few people who supposedly love me (and that's the thing-they do love me) were saying unflattering things about me amongst each other. The way I know is that later the same day I met my granddaughter, who had been an unnoticed presence in that room during their conversation. One tends to forget the child in the background who seems to be fully engaged in the Candy Land game.

The poor kid mentioned the incident to me only because she was confused. The overheard conversation had to do with a friend of mine that she had heard only good things about from me. My report and theirs were at odds, and it was hard to process the discrepancy in her 6-year-old mind. To her great credit, she was discrete and offered no details. And I, for my part, was resolved not to seek any.

The Bible gives a few reasons why we should forgive one another and overlook one others' insults (Proverbs 19:11) when they don't reach the threshold of a sin that would necessitate person-to-person confrontation (Matthew 18:15). I believe the main reason for forgiving a brother is because God has forgiven us. Whatever it is that my brother did to me, I did more against God.

But in case you ever need another reason to forgive, and to not get bent out of shape by a person's gossip against you, here it is from Ecclesiastes: Your heart knows that many times you yourself have talked trash about others.