Operating instructions for raising children

We were sitting around the dinner table with friends who were lamenting problems and mistakes made with adult children, when one in our party said, “Well, child raising doesn’t come with a set of instructions.”

There was a collective knowing sigh, but it took mere seconds for us to all sheepishly realize that, as a matter of fact, child raising does come with a set of written instructions, and it is called the Bible. Nevertheless, the fact that no one in our group immediately thought of the Bible as a manual for operation is interesting. I think it is indicative of a salient difference between the Scriptures and your Cuisinart food processor manual. Scripture is a set of operating instructions—and then again, it is not. It is a very peculiar kind of manual. Furthermore, I would say that this is by design.

My food processing appliance comes with pages of tediously detailed information. It leaves nothing to the imagination and no room for personality or common sense. If a robot were invented that could read and execute instructions, it would do well with my Cuisinart manual, for the commands are quasi-robotic, to the point of being comical. Some examples from other products with instructions:

But the Bible does not address specifically every one of an infinite number of possible situations you will encounter with your children. It will not tell you exactly what to do, for instance, if you are a widower who remarries and your adult children reject your new wife and embark on a concerted campaign to make life miserable for both of you.

Instead, the Scriptures impart, in addition to direct commands, broad principles for you to think about:

“Do not withhold discipline from a child …” (Proverbs 23:13, ESV).

“Honor your father and mother … that it may go well with you …” (Ephesians 6:2–3, ESV).

“Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him” (Proverbs 13:24, ESV).

“My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death …” (James 5:19–20, ESV).

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault. … If he listens to you, you have gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15, ESV).

“If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head …” (Proverbs 25:21–22, ESV).

“Discipline your son, for there is hope; do not set your heart on putting him to death” (Proverbs 19:18, ESV).

“All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction …” (2 Timothy 3:16, ESV).

The Scriptures also tell stories for you to think about: Eli and his sons (1 Samuel 2:12–36), King David and his sons (2 Samuel 13–19), and the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11–32).

As you can see from the verses and stories I mention above, some are obviously related to the matter of children, and some seem only remotely related. All Scripture has bearing on all subjects under the sun, to one extent or another. The fuller our knowledge of the Word, the better off we are in discerning God’s will. He wants to tell us—but He insists on us being fully engaged in the journey.

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