N.Y. Journal: Not afraid

This week reminded me that I live in a city that's a target just by existing.

The FBI has foiled another 9/11 terrorist plot against New York City that Attorney General Eric Holder has called "very serious and very organized." They arrested four men who may still have a cache of explosives stashed somewhere in the city. The police and FBI are still on edge---searching the subways, tightening security at the United Nations General Assembly this week, shutting down both the Union Square and Port Authority Bus terminals because of suspicious packages. Libyan leader Moammar Qaddafi, sandwiching it somewhere between his discourse on swine flu and JFK conspiracy theories, complained about it at the United Nations, suggesting that the UN move to a less vulnerable city.

And yet despite the real chance that something in this city will explode while I'm in it, I'm not afraid. It's in the back of my mind when I see two NYPD cops on the platform when I make a transfer at Union Square, but there's no fear. This is my city; I choose to live and work here, and to live in fear would debilitate both the city and me.

It's like when people ask if I'm afraid to walk in my neighborhood at night. I always tell them I don't have a choice but to feel safe whether I'm safe or not. I can't walk down the street jumping at every stranger who crosses my path, believing he'll knife me and take all of my worldly possessions. This is my neighborhood. This is where I choose to live. I have to choose to believe I'm safe because if I live in fear I'll go crazy.

It heightens the consciousness that we walk through life every day oblivious to the dangers that barely miss us and powerless to protect ourselves. It heightens the consciousness that life is unsafe, and there's only so much you can do to be safer while still living life. I can't stop taking subways or decide never to go into tall buildings again. You realize how debilitating fear would be if you embraced it.

It heightens the consciousness that while we go about our everyday lives, there are unseen forces keeping us safe behind the scenes. Some are FBI investigators collecting intelligence and recruiting confidential informants and searching for bomb stashes. But ultimately, I choose go out and believe that what happens to me, or doesn't, happens because God put me---and all the bad people, too---in the right place at the right time.