Marriage revolution

That any marriage survives is a mystery. Take Frank and April Wheeler in Richard Yates' Revolutionary Road. The flawlessly written but hopelessly depressing story (turned movie) chronicles the disappointing lives of two people who married young and never recovered. Make no mistake; nothing is really wrong with them or their cute little kids or their brick suburban house. It's just that, once the initial eye fluttering wore off, life got awfully dull. Coupled with Frank's dreary day job and April's apathetic attitude toward hearth and home, their formerly unsaddled, potential-filled, passion-laden days seem idyllic and their inability to accept the monotony of plain old day-to-day life leads them to where self-absorption typically does: death.

Before we're too hard on Frank and April, let's be honest: Christian marriages are often no better. Our divorce rates consistently echo those of unbelievers and surely there are others who do not officially divorce but suffer silently within hollow relationships. What gives?

Compare Revolutionary Road to Fireproof, which hits Blockbuster shelves January 27. Again, we find a couple outwardly successful but wobbling on the brink of divorce. It is only when Caleb Holt, the movie's self-centered husband, encounters Christ and subsequently decides to love his wife-despite his feelings, her lovability, or the particular phase of the moon-that their marriage is saved.

Without Christ, loving the same person 'til death do we part doesn't compute. Professor and author Jerry McCant writes, "You can never be happily married to another person until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self." Death in any form is painful, and this one sounds like it might require particular discomfort: giving up "me time," the X-box obsession, or the 50-50 split on household chores. But it sure beats the death (of hope, love, and, eventually, body) in Revolutionary Road.