Loving the sister on the fringe

There is so much going on in the request for a ride to the airport. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes decidedly not. There is the fact that it is a 6 a.m. flight, for starters, which by the math means the volunteer would have to set his or her alarm for 3. But someone would conceivably do that, right? “For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die” (Romans 5:7, ESV). And the matter is not dying, after all, but a measly ride to PHL.

The request came to my email in-box, formerly broadcast to everyone in the lady’s midweek church group and a few days later sent only to me. I learned that of those who had responded, two said their night vision was too poor and one offered $20 toward a hotel room. But airport hotels run more than a hundred bucks a night, the lady said. She was still, as of yesterday, without a lift.

Relevant facts include that the lady has solicited these favors before and seems to think nothing of asking. But this is not so easily dismissed as nervy, methinks. First of all, she is a single woman with no family in the area. Secondly, she has lived significant portions of her life in laid-back, non-frenetic countries where it may be no big deal to ask a neighbor for such a service. It would not be a fault for her to confuse these subtleties of culture.

I think the explanation for no ride offers must be found elsewhere than in the insane hour of the day or the nerviness. My hunch cannot be proved, but what I do say with more confidence is that James’ admonition against partiality among Christians fingers a problem more endemic than most of us realize—at least than I did. He writes:

“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory” (James 2:1, ESV).

This is the one sin most of us think we aren’t guilty of. To be sure, we all feel we have been victims of someone else’s partiality, but we see ourselves as free of that particular ugly vice. When James rebukes favoritism toward the man with the gold ring and fine clothing over the shabbily dressed poor man (verses 2 to 4), we are quite sure we have never trampled a homeless person in church in a beeline to fawn over a sharp-dressed man.

I was shocked to see I showed partiality to people, and yet in a way there was nothing more obvious. There are the immediate assessments one makes of a person the instant one walks into church. “I want her to like me” or “I don’t care to have her like me” is going on all the time, barely consciously. One’s clue as to who are members of the inner circle is to note who is allowed to say certain things and get away with it, and who would never dare.

The airport ride seeker is a member of the official group (the midweek church group) but is not a member of the unofficial group, that inner ring that has no written list of names but is nevertheless obvious to everyone. She is not so popular, and perhaps there are good reasons.

Nevertheless, it is worth taking a look inside the heart to see “If you reallyfulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself,’” or “if you show partiality” (James 2:8-9, ESV). You may be surprised at what you find.

And then, the matter is to repent of it and change course. For we are not doomed to any of these sins but are new creations, enabled in Christ to love the sister on the fringe.