Life support

Madeline Martinez had a college degree, her own apartment in the Dallas area, and a good job. But the 24-year-old also had a big problem—she was unexpectedly pregnant and no longer in a relationship with the father of her unborn child.

“When I found out I was pregnant, I immediately did not want to be pregnant,” she said. “I didn’t go to a pregnancy resource center. I didn’t go to my family. I went straight to find an abortion.” By the time she got an appointment, her only option was a surgical procedure. She scheduled it for two days later.

Martinez asked her younger sister to drive her to the appointment. Her sister had had an unplanned pregnancy at age 16 and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. She tried desperately to talk Martinez out of aborting her own child, but Martinez had made up her mind. Her sister reluctantly agreed to take her to the appointment.

Like Martinez, many women and girls who face unplanned pregnancies are hesitant to discuss their decision with those closest to them, the ones most likely to offer help. After the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, pro-life organizations understood expanded protections for unborn babies also meant that more abortion-minded women would need support through pregnancy and early motherhood. Simply saving babies from abortion did not mean their mothers were prepared to care for them, and ministries are stepping in to fill their tangible and relational needs.

Emilie Oxley is the executive director of Refuge Host Homes, an organization in Ohio that serves young mothers struggling to find affordable housing. Before they started the organization, Oxley and her husband served as foster parents for six years. During that time she regularly saw women lose custody of their babies. “Year after year, baby after baby, we kind of saw the same pattern,” Oxley said. “We said, ‘How can there be a better way to support mothers during pregnancy, to get support systems in place ahead of time, before baby arrives, so they can actually have a chance to be a mom before their infants are just removed from their care?”

While more maternity homes have opened in the last few years, Oxley took a different approach. She launched Refuge Host Homes in June 2022 with the goal of matching pregnant women with host families partnered through churches. The model gives women a safe place to live, the opportunity to be part of a family, and exposure to the gospel during pregnancy and the first six months of her baby’s life. “Six months in a host home is not going to fix everything, but it gives hope and it shows another way is possible,” Oxley said.

So far the organization has had 14 women aged 18 to 36 come through the program. After the mothers leave the host home, Oxley’s team helps them find housing, often through a Restorative Landlord program in which a partner church provides rental assistance.

“Things feel really urgent to these mothers,” Oxley said. “We meet the big things when they’re in a spot where they really need to be reminded that they’re not alone.” As the nonprofit continues fine-tuning its model, Oxley said she hopes to see more churches and families with spare bedrooms offer to provide the stability single mothers need.

As nonprofit organizations across the country step in to help young women access housing, child care, and other vital services, the ministry Embrace Grace is meeting their need for relationship and community. Co-founder Amy Ford says long-lasting connections with local churches and believers are vital for women who may have once considered abortion.

More than 30 years ago, she and her now husband unexpectedly got pregnant when she was 19 years old. She nearly had an abortion but changed her mind on the abortionist’s table. In 2008, she launched a group at her church in Fort Worth, Texas, for women experiencing unplanned pregnancies. The group expanded to more churches, and in 2012 Ford and her husband turned it into a nonprofit.

The organization now has 1,200 groups across all 50 states that welcome mothers into a 12-week support group where they learn about their worth as daughters of Christ. At the end of the curriculum, the host church throws them a baby shower. “We are just working on making the church a safe place for these girls to run to,” Ford said.

Many young girls who get pregnant unexpectedly feel shame and fear stepping into a church, she said. But through the groups, she has seen Christian communities come alongside young mothers to meet their needs and make them feel welcome. “We all have stories of where God’s turned our messes into miracles,” she said. “And when they hear that, they have the courage to even try it.”

In December, Embrace Grace celebrated distributing more than 150,000 Love Boxes, packages that contain encouraging letters, testimonies from other mothers, and resources about local support. Madeline Martinez’s sister attended one of Ford’s groups when she was pregnant, and even gave Martinez a prototype of the Love Box in 2016.

The night before Martinez was scheduled to have her abortion, her sister brought over a bag of baby items, a handwritten note, and a book called A Bump in Life. It contained stories of other mothers with unplanned pregnancies. “It was really sweet, but when she was done reading [the note] to me, I looked at her and said, ‘You don’t know what I’ve done. You don’t know how I got here. I really think that having an abortion is just going to be best for everybody involved,’” Martinez recalled.

But after struggling to fall asleep, Martinez stayed up all night reading the book. She had started to wonder if she really could choose life for her baby when her alarm went off. By the time her sister picked her up for the abortion appointment, Martinez was running behind and scrambling to find the facility’s address. All of a sudden, she started to cry. “I was like, ‘I can’t do it,’” she said.

Instead of taking her to the abortion facility that day, Martinez’s sister took her to see their parents, who readily stepped in to help. Martinez chose life for her son and also went through Embrace Grace. Through the group, Martinez accepted Jesus, as did her parents. She now works for the nonprofit.

“My son is fatherless in the physical, but knowing the truth that I got from Embrace Grace, knowing what I know, I’m able to pour that into Mateo,” Martinez said. “I am able to say, ‘You were always wanted. Mommy was a little scared, but you were always wanted.’”