Jesus' self-counseling

"Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, wrapped it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet and wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him" (John 13:3-5).

It is the very oddness of these verses that is so compelling. It is the apparent non sequitur that creates a verisimilitude. A causal link is made between Jesus' internal dialogue on eternal profundities and a very mundane external act. The incident is personally persuasive because that's the way it works with me, too-that is, the times I do manage to humble myself or do something godly.

Jesus reminds himself-shall we even say he needs to remind himself-that he is the Son of God, and his Father has given him everything. He preaches to himself the truth of where he came from and where he is going to, his sure destiny.

The ellipsis between verses 3 and 4 is that this self-preaching is what gives Jesus the stomach to love the way he loves. It empowers him to accept temporary abasement and, in a few hours, death.

I doubt this was a once-and-done thing for Jesus. Knowledge of the truth must be refreshed and re-appropriated over and over again, because life is a sequence of moments, and temptations come over and over. If I am to have power to risk loving, to overlook offenses, to not be controlled by other people's issues, I need a muscular willpower. Knowing I am all the things Ephesians 1 says I am will help me to love you.

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