Is it possible to never argue with your spouse?
I have a correspondent in Ohio who was married for almost six decades to his childhood sweetheart before death did them part. In a letter he inquired about a WORLD Magazine column of mine titled “Going first.” He was a bit shaken to hear that I argue with my husband, I being practically a newlywed and all. He asked, “Do you and David really argue? Is it heated as it sounded? Is there anger? Or is it more like a debate team?” I assured my pen pal it was nothing serious and he must not imagine fur flying over in Pennsylvania.
Then my elder brother in the Lord wrote this:
“My wife and I did not argue—never had an argument. I don’t tell that often because I learned that people don’t believe me.We did not agree on everything but could discuss without arguing. Neither of us was ever out to prove our point. Did I tell you about the only time she ‘laid down the law’ to me? It was during our courtship when we were already planning our marriage. She made it clear to me from her biblical teaching that ‘You are the head of the house.’ I was not even familiar with that portion of the Word. She never went back on it. That’s probably why we didn’t argue. It’s very humbling.”
There was a time I wouldn’t have believed that kind of testimony—the claim that someone had never argued with his spouse in 59 years. But come to think of it, on what basis would I reject such a statement? If I reject it because I have not experienced that myself, why should my experience be the standard of what is possible by the resurrection power of Christ? To the Scriptures, then. What does the Word say?
Jesus told a man whom he had healed, “Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.” I am going to take the position that Jesus meant it—”sin no more”—and that He doesn’t command what He doesn’t give grace for. I will not lower my view of Scripture to the level of my personal experience.
It does me good to meet a person who has walked in the overcoming power that God says is ours in Christ (Romans 6; 1 John 3:9, 22). Let me always meet people whose testimony blows the ceiling off my expectations of the possible.
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