Is it bad to have a best friend?

Get ready for the latest trend in child-rearing: discouraging best friends.

According to a recent New York Times article, growing numbers of educators and other professionals believe children are better off not having a best friend. And some institutions are actively taking steps to discourage the practice.

At Timber Lake Camp in Phoenicia, N.Y., "friendship coaches" are employed "to work with campers to help every child become friends with everyone else. If two children seem to be too focused on each other, the camp will make sure to put them on different sports teams, seat them at different ends of the dining table, or perhaps have a counselor invite one of them to participate in an activity with another child whom they haven't yet gotten to know."

Say what? The camp's director is quoted as saying he doesn't think it's healthy for a child "to rely on one friend."

Christine Laycob, director of counseling at St. Louis Country Day School, concurs: "I think it is kids' preference to pair up and have that one best friend. . . . We try to talk to kids and work with them to get them to have big groups of friends and not be so possessive about friends."

This is social engineering run amuck! To its credit, the Times had this to say about the trend: "That attitude is a blunt manifestation of a mind-set that has led adults to become ever more involved in children's social lives in recent years."

It's natural for children to be drawn to some children over others, just as it's natural for adults.

Thankfully, the article presents an opposing view. Brett Laursen, a psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University said, "Do we want to encourage kids to have all sorts of superficial relationships? Is that how we really want to rear our children? Imagine the implication for romantic relationships. We want children to get good at leading close relationships, not superficial ones."

Let's hope the trend doesn't catch on.