Doing good deeds without self-consciousness

The other day my husband found a cell phone in the parking lot of a convenience store. An hour or so after the find, he told me he was going to call the person and break the good news to him or her that he had the phone, that it was safe and sound, and that he could arrange to meet the owner at an agreed-upon location to hand it over. I could see that he was quietly pleased at anticipating the recipient’s jubilation and gratitude regarding his good deed.

I was in another room but close enough to overhear the phone conversation. Whoever my husband reached in his attempt to locate the owner (it was in fact the owner’s brother) was evidently a non-native English speaker, so there was already that in the way of a successful human connection. But as I heard snatches of the audible half of the exchange, I could discern that the person on the other line was grilling my husband regarding his possession of the phone. This my dear spouse did not expect, and his tone incrementally changed from the demeanor of gracious and magnanimous savior to that of someone aggrieved at being not appreciated and praised.

It reminds me of the time at L’Abri over 40 years ago, when as a snarky unbeliever I joined Francis Schaeffer’s Christian commune and one day missed a meal at my assigned chalet. Afterward I was hungry, and I spotted an apple tree loaded with apples in one of the other chalet worker’s yards. I nearly plucked an apple from a branch but suddenly decided against it, choosing rather to be gratuitously upright and to select one from the ground instead of the bough. Indeed, so righteous did my sentiment wax that I decided on the further plan of going to the door of the house and knocking on it and personally asking the owner permission to eat the fallen fruit.

A man came to the door and inquired as to my business. I told him I was hungry and that I had missed a meal at the other chalet and that I would like permission to eat one of the many apples lying on the ground under his tree. The man (not Schaeffer) said, “No.” Stunned to silence, I heard his reason: “You made your choice.”

Without further ceremony the chalet man closed the door and left me outside. Leaving the apples behind, I fumed self-righteously against all Christians in the world, and on Mars if there were any.

To this day I still disagree philosophically with the chalet worker for denying me an apple. But I also learned a worthwhile truth: Do your good deeds (of returning lost cell phones or asking permission to eat an apple) without self-consciousness:

“… do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing …” (Matthew 6:3).

Do them just between you and God, and not with the hope of being seen and rewarded by men:

“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them …” (Matthew 6:1).

And never expect a reward for simply doing what you ought to do:

“So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have done only what was our duty’” (Luke 17:10).