Do your ears hang low?

The biggest ears ever seen on a goat? Guinness World Records is listening. Pakistani goat farmer Hassan Narejo noticed something different about the new kid in town. The baby goat, named Simba, had unusually long ears after he was born June 4. By June 13, Narejo measured the kid’s ears at nearly 19 inches long. By mid-July, Simba sported 23-inch ears and had become a viral social media sensation boasting a video with more than 8 million views. Narejo submitted Simba for a spot in Guinness World Records and has even fielded inquiries about selling the animal. No sale, says the goat farmer who insists his celebrity animal provides him something better than cash. Narejo told NPR, “Simba gave this profession a whole new meaning and respect.”

Rude robot

Next time, perhaps programmers will adjust the algorithm to include some manners. A chess-playing robot broke a 7-year-old boy’s finger during a match at the Moscow Chess Open according to the Russian news outlet Baza. A video of the incident shows the robot grabbing the finger of the child while both players attempted to make moves on the board. Once the robot latched onto the boy’s finger, adults rushed over to free the boy. Moscow Chess Federation President Sergey Lazarev said the youth didn’t give the robot enough time to make its move.

Never too late

The future looks bright for Italy’s newest, oldest graduate. Giuseppe Paterno recently completed his master’s degree in history and philosophy at the University of Palermo despite his advanced age. The family of the 98-year-old graduate said he earned high marks for his advanced degree, just like he did when he completed his undergraduate degree in 2020 at age 96. Now that he’s a man of letters, Paterno says he plans to write a novel on his favorite typewriter.

Loafing on the job

A workforce survey in Japan suggests some older Japanese men have perfected the ancient art of slacking off. Consulting firm Shikigaku polled 300 workers and asked, among other questions, whether there was an “old guy who doesn’t work” at their company. Nearly half of those polled said they could identify such an older man. The respondents said the individual took “many breaks for smoking and eating” and “[stared] off into space.”

Hyperbolic haul

A routine traffic stop by police in a small English city yielded the motherlode of smuggled smokes. Police in Lowestoft, U.K., made the stop July 15 and searched the detained BMW after the driver was found to be operating without a license or insurance. Inside the car, officers discovered a cache of cigarettes enormous enough to merit a bit of police-report hyperbole: “The vehicle was found to contain enough tobacco and cigarettes to cater an entire 1980s darts tournament.” Police arrested the driver and two passengers for money laundering and peddling contraband smokes.

Unauthorized sandwich

A poor understanding of Australian customs regulations and a mild appetite combined to cost a 19-year-old traveler a princely sum for a sandwich. Preparing to fly home to Australia after a vacation in Singapore, Jessica Lee bought a Subway sandwich on her way to the airport. She ate half of the sandwich on the flight, but saved the rest for after she got home. An inexperienced traveler, Lee failed to declare the Singaporean sandwich and faced questioning by Australian customs officials for violating the nation’s strict biosecurity regulations. Later, Lee got a fine in the mail for nearly $1,850. A semi-happy ending: After learning of the fine, Subway officials sent Lee a store gift card equal to the value of the fine.

A nosey guy

Bob Salem posed July 15 at the top of Pikes Peak after becoming just the fourth man to push a peanut up the 14,115-foot mountain with his nose. The 53-year-old affixed a spoon to a CPAP mask in order to spare his bare nose the strain of scraping along the Barr Trail. According to Salem, he made more progress at night partially because of the daytime heat and partially because he got distracted talking to other hikers. Salem said he did it to help nearby Manitou Springs, Colo., commemorate its 150th anniversary. How will Salem celebrate? “No plans,” Salem told the Colorado Springs Gazette. “Watch some TV, maybe.”