Busting today’s anti-marriage myths

Eighty-one percent of the Silent Generation were married between the ages of 23 and 38, according to Statista. That number dropped to 53% for Generation X. In 2020, the rate was only 44% for millennials.

That those numbers represent a social revolution is obvious. But what University of Virginia sociologist Brad Wilcox demonstrates in Get Married: Why Americans Must Defy the Elites, Forge Strong Families, and Save Civilization (Broadside Books, 320 pp.) is that they also have led to a marked decline in well-being for adults, children, and society itself.

Get Married goes strongly against the grain of a culture that tells young people to remain single as long as possible, but Wilcox backs up his arguments with persuasive data. The author’s strong defense of the foundational institution of civilization—at a time when that institution is eroding—makes Get Married WORLD’s 2024 Book of the Year in the general nonfiction category.

Throughout the book, Wilcox punctures certain myths about marriage that our culture has conditioned young people to think of as intuitive.

To the idea that men and women will be better off if they remain single (the “flying solo myth”), Wilcox shows that married men and women are happier, less lonely, and wealthier than the unmarried—and it’s often because they are married. To the idea that marriage isn’t important for the flourishing of children (“the family diversity myth”), Wilcox points to data showing that children from intact families have fewer problems in school, are less likely to be abused, and are less likely to go to prison as adults. To the idea that having children makes life miserable for parents, Wilcox shows that the happiest Americans are those who are married with children.

But beyond a defense of getting married, Wilcox outlines the counter­cultural beliefs and practices that can make couples more likely to remain married. He identifies four groups of Americans—Asian Americans, conservatives, “the faithful,” and “strivers”—who are tying the knot more often than others and making it work. Asian Indians in particular set a good example for other Americans.

For a book that strikes at the very root of elite thinking, Get Married didn’t receive a lot of negative pushback when it came out in February. Wilcox (in a phone interview) said the dearth of attacks surprised him. “There seems to be a greater recognition that something is wrong when it comes to family life in America,” he said, adding that he hopes the center-left and the center-right will show a willingness to emphasize the importance of marriage.

As for government policy, Wilcox says he’s encouraged by an idea put forward by Vice President–elect J.D. Vance to eliminate the marriage penalty in the Earned Income Tax Credit and pay for it by ending tax credits for electric vehicles.

The work of rebuilding a culture of marriage cannot start soon enough. Wilcox says there are three big problem areas for young Americans: a dating culture that fails to steer them toward marriage; a lack of maturity among young men; and a radically progressive view of marriage among young women. The rise of Andrew Tate and similar podcast voices is especially alarming. “The left has been articulating for a long time messages that are anti-marriage to women,” he said. “What’s new is the message toward men.”

In such a weakened culture, it will be difficult to convince young Americans that the responsibilities of marriage and family will lead to more happiness for most (not all) of them. But in Get Married, Brad Wilcox makes a very good case.

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Next in this 2024 Books of the Year special issue: “Understanding the times.”