Bigger and worse

“How many millies you on?” I turned to look at a man in his early 30s, very fit, with neck tattoos and wearing a retro Chicago Bulls jersey. We were packed into the sauna at the gym with seven other guys.

“What?” I said.

“How many millies? Milligrams?” He tried one more time. “Test?” I finally got it. Milligrams of testosterone.

“Ah,” I said. “None.”

“Don’t need to lie, bro! No shame,” he shot back. “What about you all?” he said to the other guys. “How many millies?” They were in their late 20s or 30s. Of the eight, six were injecting testosterone weekly, in doses ranging from 100 to 150 milligrams. Only one of them looked like he might be on steroids—no offense to the other five. Those who use testosterone often claim it not only helps build muscle and bone, it makes them feel energized and more powerful.

The first guy told me that when he wasn’t injecting, his testosterone level was about 450 nanograms per deciliter of blood, well within the normal range for adult males. But that wasn’t high enough for him. “My high school football coach got me on test when I was a sophomore,” he continued. “So, it’s been about 20 years now. Whenever I go off of it, my test drops way too low. I can’t function without it.”

Doctors have long prescribed hormones to help with aging and other conditions. Bodybuilders and some athletes have used anabolic steroids for years. But this felt different. I asked the guys where they got the stuff. Three were going to clinics, but the other three were ordering it online.

Growing up, my friends and I assumed body image was a female problem. The magazines in grocery store checkout lines ambushed young women with promises of quick weight loss and photoshopped images of celebrities. Now body image is becoming as much of a problem among young men as among young women, but with a twist.

The clinical term for body image issues is body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). It’s a preoccupation with flaws in your physical form or appearance. Anorexia, a subset of BDD, mostly commonly affects women.

But bigorexia is an emerging colloquial term that describes an unhealthy obsession with having bigger and leaner muscles, or muscle dysmorphia. It’s not clear how big the problem is, but it seems to be growing. A 2021 survey in the U.K. of people aged 18-24 found that 54% of young men and 49% of women exhibited signs of the disorder.

I blame, in part, social media. Young people compare themselves to the tiny minority of people who are either genetic outliers or use steroids, testosterone, and other drugs to help carve themselves into an idealized human form. This skews what they think of as normal.

And all this has radically changed what a “healthy” person looks like. Consider the boxer Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest athletes of all time. Pictures from his prime show someone who is very fit but with a healthy amount of body fat. His muscles look rounded rather than sharp.

Then look at a photo of health influencer Brian Johnson, known as “the Liver King.” He has 10 million social media followers and became famous in part for recommending that people eat raw liver. His veins protrude sharply, and the edges of every muscle are visible through his skin. Johnson had a brief stint as a Make America Healthy Again thought leader until it came out that he had been taking $12,000 worth of anabolic steroids per month.

People who go down this road tell themselves that they just want to look good, have energy, and feel attractive. But an image-obsessed, hypersexualized culture has taught them to seek quick fixes in pursuit of distorted ideals. And the potential hazards of abusing these substances include cardiovascular disease, liver damage, mental health challenges, and fertility collapse.

It amounts to suicide by lifestyle. Thou shalt not kill, says the Scripture, and it doesn’t matter whether your heart attack is the result of a lifetime of being a couch potato or years of unsupervised experimentation with injected substances, supposedly in pursuit of fitness.

Chasing unrealistic ideals for our bodies is showing contempt for the body God has given us. That’s envy. Instead, we are called to steward our whole selves, not in hatred, but in gratitude for the life God has given us.

—Seth Troutt is the teaching pastor at Ironwood Church in Arizona. His doctoral studies focused on Gen Z, digitization, and bodily self-concept. He and his wife Taylor have two young children.