by Arsenio Orteza
Post Date:
April 12, 2003 Issue Date:
April 12, 2003

BESTSELLERS

Name: WORLD
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The Top 5 best-selling albums for the week ending March 29, according to Billboard magazine

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1 GET RICH OR DIE TRYIN' 50 Cent

6 weeks on chart

STYLE Sex-and-violence rap.

OBJECTIONABLE MATERIAL All 19 cuts (abundant profanity, obscenity, racial slurs, etc.).

WORLDVIEW "The Lord's blessings leave me lyrically inclined / [expletive deleted], I ain't even gotta try to shine /... I got Scriptures in my brain I could spit at your dame / straight out the Good Book, look, [plural racial slur] is shook" ("Patiently Waiting").

OVERALL QUALITY None. Maybe when he starts "spitting" Scripture?

2 COME AWAY WITH ME Norah Jones

55 weeks on chart

STYLE Acoustic love songs softly sung, evocative of coffeehouses and jazz clubs.

OBJECTIONABLE MATERIAL None.

WORLDVIEW Sunsets, cloudy days, lone stars, swirling skies-if she were a painter, she'd do watercolors.

OVERALL QUALITY High; unlike her father, Ravi Shankar, Miss Jones operates strictly within the Western pop-musical tradition, sounding older than her 24 years and inspiring hopes that her five recent Grammies will be the first of many.

3 CHOCOLATE FACTORY R. Kelly

4 weeks on chart

STYLE Contemporary R&B.

OBJECTIONABLE MATERIAL "Forever More" (casual cursing), "I'll Never Leave" (obscenity), "Heart of a Woman," "Been Around the World" (profanity), "Showdown," "Ignition," "Snake" (profanity, softcore eroticism).

WORLDVIEW Women are fantastic: They cook, do laundry, enjoy kinky sex, put up with macho nonsense and PMS, and look great in tight clothes.

OVERALL QUALITY Lowbrow male chauvinism at its catchiest and most clueless.

4 HOME Dixie Chicks

29 weeks on chart

STYLE Unplugged country, bluegrass roots.

OBJECTIONABLE MATERIAL None, Natalie Maines having saved her anti-Bush rant for foreign soil.

WORLDVIEW "More love, I know that's all we need ... / To take us and hold us and lift us above / If there's ever an answer / It's more love" (sentiments with which Saddam Hussein no doubt concurs).

OVERALL QUALITY Much higher than the quality of Ms. Maines's ill-timed political insights.

5 SING THE SORROW AFI

1 week on chart

STYLE Punky hard rock plated with alternative metal and leavened by hooks.

OBJECTIONABLE MATERIAL None.

WORLDVIEW Nihilism as aphrodisiac ("Will you join me in this dance of misery, cradled in impossibility?"), nihilism as marketing gimmick (join AFI's fan club and receive a T-shirt, button, sticker, patch, poster, armband, and membership card; $29.99 for a lifetime, credit cards accepted).

OVERALL QUALITY Improves when you don't listen too closely to the lyrics.

Arsenio Orteza

Arsenio is a music reviewer for WORLD Magazine and one of its original contributors from 1986.

@ArsenioOrteza

BESTSELLERS

The Top 5 best-selling albums for the week ending March 29, according to Billboard magazine

Full access isn’t far.

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