Being used

How do you feel about being "used"?

I have a friend who is good at what he does, and he is also kind. So people tend to seek his help, which he tends to give freely. Now and then he tells me he thinks the situation has crossed over from his benefiting the petitioner to his enabling him or her, which, indeed, is a line we need to watch for-for the other person's sake.

Jesus was mindful of that pitfall in his own healing and helping ministry. And at one point he spoke out about it-for the other people's sake: "You are seeking me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill of the loaves" (John 6:26ff). That was the rebuke. Then came the positive pointer: "Do not labor for the food that perishes, but for the food that endues to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you" (v.27).

When you know-as my friend does, and as Jesus did-that God loves you, you don't need to be so paranoid about being "used." You can afford to risk kindness without fear of a fatal blow to your dignity. Better to err on that side than the other. When you know God is "for" you, you don't need to worry about the short end of the stick. When you know He has your back, you don't have to keep watching your own.

I am not terribly disturbed when someone says to me: "So and so is using you." The way I figure it, maybe she is and maybe she isn't. At the end of the day there are some things worse than being used-like not being used.