Before you give...

Our mailbox is bursting with appeals to give a needy family a turkey, sponsor a distressed child, and support a homeless shelter. You, a tenderhearted Christian filled with Holiday Compassion, reach for your checkbook.

Stop. Hold it right there.

I'm not saying don't give, but don't give indiscriminately. You may do as much harm as good.

The impulse to help is admirable, but if we can't distinguish between good and good intentions, we're not utilizing good judgment. Anyone who wants to give charitably needs to look at the results of the organization and find out if it genuinely changes lives, or if it enables a destructive life pattern. Does it give a hand out, or a hand up?

This past year, I have criss-crossed America in search of groups doing an effective job of helping the poor. I have walked down trash-strewn streets of East Harlem to talk to AFDC mothers. I have talked with recovering crack addicts in Washington, D.C., and with homeless alcoholic men on skid row in Denver. I have seen gang members and prostitutes strung out on heroin in San Antonio in a home to rescue them. I have met the people whose programs are changing lives, and I have seen what makes their work effective.

I've also seen some well-intended efforts that will be as effective as a band-aid on cancer because they never confront recipients with the need to change. Giving a homeless man a hot meal and a place to sleep will never help him out of his homelessness, if the root problem is alcohol. Giving him a check to "drink away" is what Bob Cote of Denver's Step 13, a former homeless alcoholic himself, calls "suicide on the installment plan."

In order to give wisely, you need to know whether the group you want to support meets the criteria of effective giving. The way the government and many charities give doesn't truly help. Years of treating poverty as a material need have failed to address the spiritual aspects. Attempts to help in an impersonal way have missed opportunities to build life-changing relationships between the giver and receiver.

Taking Marvin Olasky's ABCs of effective compassion, I'll share the questions you might consider as you sort out the competing appeals for charitable help:

Affiliation: Does this organization build relational bridges from the recipient back to family, friends, and community?

Bonding: Is there a direct bond between the giver and receiver? Is there a mentor to walk with the recipient over time?

Character: Does this group build good character in its recipients, fostering the virtues of self-restraint, honesty, and reliability?

Discernment: Does this organization distinguish between people looking for a hand out, and those who need temporary help to get on their feet? Are solutions tailored to fit the individual?

Employment: Do recipients receive marketable job skills and learn a work ethic that will empower them to get a job and keep it?

Freedom: Do recipients learn to use freedom to make choices responsibly? Do they learn to take responsibility for their actions?

God: Do recipients come closer to knowing their Creator, loving him, and serving him? Is this work building his kingdom?

if the charity of your choice doesn't meet most of these criteria, it probably isn't producing lasting change in the people it is serving.

Don Michel heads the Union Gospel Mission in Portland, Ore., an effective program that has been changing the lives of homeless. He says he has learned from his mistakes. "I thought just handing out food and clothes without question was a very compassionate thing to do. But I think now that when you give things out without accountability, you're participating in that person's harm."

Meeting material needs without addressing the spiritual needs is not enough. Freddie Garcia founded the Victory Fellowship of Texas, whose work is credited with turning around 13,000 alcoholics and drug addicts. A former heroin addict himself, he says: "Without a spiritual transformation, all you have is a reformed junkie. But if Christ transforms his spirit, you have a new person."

What's needed is charity that doesn't give bread just to ease the conscience of the giver. What's needed is a commitment of time, resources, and personal involvement. Love, including tough love. Willingness to love beyond the comfort zone. Life-changing love.

The groups that offer this kind of charity deserve all that we can give them, including our own commitment of resources as well as time.

Give generously.

Give with love.

Give wisely.