Badly behaved

Have you seen the YouTube video where the younger brother videotapes while his 16-year-old brother throws the kind of fit most parents discipline out of a child by the time he is 3?

This boy's parents didn't get the memo---that is, unless the video was staged (if it was, that's another memo left unread and one we'll have to address some other time). For the sake of this discussion, let's assume the video is authentic. His reaction to his mother shutting down his WOW (World of Warcraft) video game account is so ridiculous that, were it not so disturbing, it might be funny. Here we have this almost-man, hitting his head with a shoe, storming in and out of his closet, and repeatedly flopping himself on his bed like a demon-possessed rag doll, screaming at his mother like a toddler. In other videos (the fact there's a "series" really questions their authenticity) he gets mad and bashes his father's guitar into bits, while in a third he takes a baseball bat to the used truck his parents just bought him for his birthday.

I initially felt disgust with any parents who would allow such behavior to go undisciplined, staged or not. Then I remembered that a few weeks ago, while I was out running errands, one of my children was at home pitching a fit that two of her siblings videotaped (for "evidence"). When the fit-thrower watched the video later, she was understandably horrified and embarrassed.

We parents sometimes fall into the trap of labeling one child's sin as worse than another's. Compliant children get away with being sneaky, telling half-truths, and manipulating because they do it gently and quietly, where extroverted or strong-willed children get constantly rebuked because every sin is done loudly and publicly. Without even meaning to, some kids are labeled the "trouble makers" and others the "good kids."

On I-70 in Colorado, there are signs for the eastbound drivers entering the Denver area warning them that although they are no longer in heavy mountain driving, they should still be cautious. "Driver's don't be fooled! 6% downgrade next 10 miles," reads one of the signs.

Similarly, we parents should not be fooled. That sweet, compliant child who quotes Scripture so nicely can quickly turn into an adult who lacks patience with his co-worker's sin. That little girl who is told she is good because she doesn't vocalize her angst may learn how to manipulate with silence. The most obedient teen can turn his college roommate against Christianity by reading his Bible instead of keeping his room clean.

Even though I wanted to throttle that YouTube boy for his outlandish behavior, on some level I appreciate both he and my daughter for their blatant misbehavior. At least, to borrow from Luther, they sin boldly. A bold sin can be dealt with. A bold sinner cannot easily escape his need for God and forgiveness. A bold sinner knows his weakness and empathizes with those around him who struggle. He cannot, or does not, hide his sin, so rarely does he quietly simmer or manipulate or harbor anger, convincing himself that this sin is not really all that bad because it is a "quiet" sin. The bold sinner knows public shame and humiliation more than the quiet sinner, but I wonder if he, after repenting, also feels God's forgiveness and love more, too.

I pray for children who do not just toe the line and become smug in their obedience, but children who are bombarded with constant reminders of their need for a Savior, children who are broken and who truly understand how deeply they are forgiven, kept, and loved, even in those times they sin boldly.