Bad Sir Jonathan Gruber (with apologies to A.A. Milne)

Only A.A. Milne, author of not only Winnie the Pooh but great children’s poems such “Bad Sir Brian Botany,” could do justice to Jonathan Gruber’s testimony yesterday.

Gruber, of course, is the MIT professor and Obamacare planner who bragged repeatedly about pulling the wool over the eyes of “stupid Americans.” But when a congressional committee yesterday had him testify, Gruber said, “I am not the architect of Obamacare. I behaved badly. … I tried to make myself seem smarter by demeaning others. … I made a series of inexcusable comments.”

In Milne’s poem, a Gruber-like character carries “a battleaxe with great big knobs on,” announces himself as “Sir Brian,” and kicks villagers into a pond—until they take his weapon, surround him, and throw him in the pond. Sir Brian then burns his fighting boots and goes around saying, “I haven’t any title, I’m Botany; Plain Mr. Botany (B.).”

So, here’s my news poem:

Sir Gruber had a paper stack with great big numbers.He talked about Obamacare and gained enormous cred. From Monday morn to Saturday,Yes, even on that latter day,He called on all the congressmen and this is what he said:

“I am a genius!” (Ting-ling!)“I am a genius!” (Rat-tat!) “My plan’s a wonder, “Applaud when I thunder! “Learn that, and that, and that! …”

Sir Gruber spoke at meetings, where he called critics stupid. But when evidence came pouring in, we saw who was the jerk. So much video of his boasting! From the pundits came a roasting. He knew he’d have to crawl and beg to get more healthcare work.

“I am Sir Gruber? Oh, no!“I am Sir Gruber? Who’s he? “I’m nobody special, I’m Jonathan; “Plain Mr. Jonathan (G.).”

One difference, though, between Sir Brian and Sir Gruber: The latter, according to government documents and press reports, received more than $5 million in taxpayer money for his state and federal Obamacare work. Gruber yesterday refused to say how large those payments were, referring questions about income to his legal counsel.