Another Way to Family

In musical parlance, I am going to take this one from the top.

Marvin Olasky, WORLD's editor in chief and my boss at The King's College in New York City, asked me to write about the process of adoption from the perspective of a soon-to-be adoptive parent. He pitched it as Real World-type of assignment, sans cameras and boom microphones. The idea, in Olasky's words, is for me to chronicle the "frustrations, preparations, etc."

"Just who are you, anyway?" I hear you asking.

I am about to get into that, and I thank you in advance for your patience.

Adoption is a deeply personal matter, and for you to understand my experience you must start with a little knowledge of me. ("Ground the reader," I charge my bright writing students.) So here I go.

I am Bearden Coleman, born and raised in Arkansas (this, as you will see in this space in the future, is important) and currently residing in Brooklyn, N.Y. For close to seven years I have been married to Laura Summerhill, a woman of unending grace and beauty. She is my best friend, and because of her I am a better human being. (Yes, I am aware that I'm breaking my own rules: "Avoid the saccharine and overly sentimental," I warn my students.) And it was more than seven years ago that my journey to adoption with Laura began.

I desperately wanted to marry her, and after some warming up she was starting to consider the prospect. She did not mind that my career path would not lead to fast sports cars or exquisite vacations on the slopes. She did not mind that I was balding and not of great physical stature. But what she did need to know before she would consider marrying me was if I would be open to adopting a child. You see, for her adoption was a make-or-break deal.

Here I could go into her story- a calling into the field of social work, a trip to Romania-but I cannot today. It is enough for you to know that we started our marriage in accord on this issue.

I said yes to a future that included adoption, and she said yes to a life with me.

It would be nearly six years before we seriously revisited the idea of adopting a child. But when we did, the question of whether to adopt or not was already settled. Now it was time to get a move on, investigate the possibilities-to start building our family.

Editor's note: Updates on Bearden and Laura's quest to adopt a child will appear here in the weeks and months to come.