Another sad Russian adoption story

When the news broke about the Tennessee mother who had sent her adopted son back to Russia, headlines screamed "International Outrage Over 7-Year-Old's Return to Russia." One columnist wrote that the mother "showed a callous disregard for the boy she had pledged to love and protect."

It seemed unthinkable, despite the explanations put forward by the grandmother. According to her, Artyom had threatened to kill family members. He spit, screamed, and hit. He'd drawn a picture of his house burning down. He'd attempted to attack his aunt with a 3-pound statue. The family had begun to fear for their lives.

In Newsweek's "My Turn" section last week, there was another poignant story involving Russian adoption. Josephine Ruggiero and her husband adopted three biological Russian siblings all under the age of 5. She wrote, "I'm trained in sociology, but nothing could have prepared me for the challenges we've encountered." All the children had serious medical and emotional problems. Two were diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome. One needed immediate surgery for brain trauma. Ruggiero recalls contacting the adoption agency within the first week, telling them that their experience was not what they'd expected. "They said something like, 'We're sorry to hear that.'"

She wrote that while the children never hurt her or her husband, they were not able to control their anger: "We had to put locks on doors inside the house, because they would take anything they wanted, including money. . . . In our case, we kept thinking that our kids' early behavioral issues stemmed from the challenges of adjusting to their new life. But they only got worse."

Ruggiero's younger daughter is 17 and still screams. Ruggiero wrote poignantly that she doesn't really have any real relationship with her older daughter who's 19. Their 20-year-old son left home and lives on his own; he doesn't communicate with the family. "There isn't any doubt that we love them," Ruggiero wrote, "but I think it's hard for them to understand what love means."

Ruggiero and her husband deserve enormous credit for what they've done. But like the story of Artyom, there is no happy ending. Ruggiero concluded her piece by writing, "It's like climbing a mountain, but we haven't reached the top, where it gets easier. I'm thinking that may never happen."

Of course, the real tragedy is what all these children probably endured long before anyone considered adopting them. It would seem that there are some things human love alone cannot heal.

Editor's Note: Read Jill Nelson's personal odyssey of international adoption in the current issue of WORLD.