Anger: a lot like sex

I really thought, back then, that we were in a unique point in American history. Bill Clinton, through his obnoxious personal behavior, had earned what seemed to be the unparalleled anger of the American electorate. I had lived through the ignominy of Watergate. His besmirching of the presidency went beyond anything most of us had ever experienced. We were fit to be tied.

Now we’re there again—and so many of the things we had to learn about civil behavior in the Clinton years we’re having to relearn now. So may I pick up a conversation from 20 years ago?

There’s a difference, I said back then, between anger and meanness. Christians have a right now and then, and maybe even a duty, to be angry. We never have a right to be mean.

By my count, the Bible includes nearly 400 specific references to anger and being angry. Amazingly, most of them refer to the anger of God. That suggests that anger, by itself, is not an evil emotion. You might even go so far as to call it a holy response—provided we learn to exercise it in a God-like fashion. Maybe it’s appropriate to see our “anger drive” in the same light in which we view our “sex drive.” There’s a high and holy use for it, but there’s also a wrong use. And like the sex drive, the anger drive is volatile and easily subject to major abuse.

All of which is probably why the Apostle Paul gives the Christians at Ephesus this simple advice: “In your anger, do not sin.” Some of God’s very best gifts are placed immediately adjacent to some of the greatest opportunities for slipping up. And because we’re fallen, it isn’t easy. Our hearts and minds are so skewed that we develop a mean streak and call it righteous anger. We revise Paul’s advice to say: “In your anger, don’t feel bad if you slip over the edge now and then.”

So how do you know when anger has turned to meanness, when truly righteous anger has taken on unrighteous aspects?

Part of the problem is that in our common usage, the word anger has a whole handful of synonyms. There’s indignation, implying righteous anger. There’s rage, suggesting a violent outburst with loss of self-control. There’s fury, implying a frenzied madness. There’s ire and there’s wrath. Which of all these fits the God of the Bible? All, except ire, are in my Bible, referring to God. That bears careful study.

The word mean also has some synonyms—but not a single one seems appropriate as a descriptor of God. “Ignoble, base, small-minded, petty,” my dictionary says. “Stingy, miserly, pernicious, bad-tempered, vicious, contemptibly selfish, disagreeable, malicious.”

Maybe it’s appropriate to see our ‘anger drive’ in the same light in which we see our ‘sex drive.’ There’s a high and holy use for it, and there’s also a wrong use.

So the question comes: When we look at the nature of the anger we feel, are we talking about something from List No. 1 or something from List No. 2? It may seem subtle, but it’s the difference between holiness and sin.

Whose interests are at stake? Are we worried about our interests, or God’s? Is it simply our sense of well-being that’s been disturbed, or are we truly jealous for the standards and reputation of God Himself?

Those aren’t typically easy questions to grapple with. But here are some further queries to guide our thinking:

1) What attribute of God is being offended? Write it down. Spelling it out is a good mental discipline.

2) Have you been consistent in applying the standard? Does the same behavior in your own political party earn the same anger that it gets when the behavior comes from a political opponent?

3) Can you sleep on the issue and still feel just as passionately about it? I have a friend who keeps a scrapbook of hot letters he’s written but never sent.

4) Have you subjected your anger to the counsel of godly people? Ask two or three people known for their good judgment what they think about the issues.

5) Make sure you know your facts. As a journalist, I’m chagrined how many good stories get ruined by the facts.

Do all that, and I think you will have made your point. Your anger drive is in gear and ready for battle.

Email jbelz@wng.org