Abort babies but protect the rats

A friend of mine remarked, partly in amusement and partly in perplexity, that he has two kinds of mice in his house: the ones downstairs he has set traps to kill and the ones upstairs in his teenage daughter’s cage he has to spend money to feed and house.

He isn’t the only one who is confused. America has a different and more serious kind of confusion in its treatment and evaluation of the creatures of God. In hospitals and dingy abortion centers across the land, America terminates the life of pre-born babies with pointy forceps and suction machines. Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C., since the enactment of the D.C. Wildlife Protection Act of 2010, pest control workers have been protecting the lives of city rats. D.C.’s army of rat handlers are not allowed to kill all species but must instead carefully deport them—along with their families! Here are a few of their guidelines:

“Wildlife shall be captured, handled, and, when permissible, transported, in a manner to ensure against causing unnecessary discomfort, behavioral stress, or physical harm to the animal.” “A wildlife control services provider shall make every reasonable effort to preserve family units using human eviction or displacement and reunion strategies, and shall not knowingly abandon dependent young wildlife in a structure.” “Captured wildlife shall be transported in covered, secure containers in such a way as to … minimize stress to the animal and its exposure to the elements by covering the trap or vehicle with appropriate material.” “Ensure that the covering is of such material that the animal has an adequate supply of air to prevent overheating.”

I read these regulations to my mother on her sick bed and she said to me about the rats: “Let’s take up a collection and send them on vacation to Aruba.”

If my mother were younger and there were any hope, I would send her to reeducation camp.